Happiness

Loneliness

Loneliness is a very interesting friend. It never leaves your side. It always finds you when you don’t really need it. You can never pin point why your lonely. You might be surrounded by loving people, have your optimum health, status and position in life to be envied. Everything will be clicking on all cylinders and still, there is loneliness. You sit there in a self pity-party every evening or quiet moment. Your in denial when your secret is discovered by someone watching you unknowingly. You cannot look in the mirror to just look in the mirror or you will see what everyone sees but is afraid to mention. One day all that status, position, and sometimes health is either compromised and or let’s just say….it changes. Dramatically. Then you realize where the loneliness stems from. If you are lucky you make an attitude adjustment before it is too late. Then you realize where the heck have you been all my life? I have not been alone all this time. Our wonderful creator was always with me through my gifts. Through my family. Through my surroundings. Through strangers that need to be helped loved and brought out of the same bullshit loneliness. I am awake. I am so glad I am awake. My passion for art is my fulfillment. The love I get from strangers enjoying what I do. That is the payoff. The sad part is the days are going by so fast. The time is clicking like a sprint. The clock seems to have a fast hand that does not have mercy on our age. It doesn’t. We have to create today. Think about it quickly and act on it. cancer has no value on “wait a minute” heart disease is not going to take a break from its mission. That high blood pressure is ready anytime. Everyday create. Love. Cherish. I am speaking not only to every artist and non artist that reads this but also to myself. Now I am realizing that in order to make something happen in your life you have to will it to happen. effort is involved. Alot of effort. Sacrifice is involved. A well planned out sacrifice of our time. Corporately I sacrificed precious moments of my loving family’s time owed to them and traded it for status and position. My children lacked and desperately needed their time of mine. My marriage was stricken with the same. We find ourselves being selfish or caught up in societies little bad plan. Work, make money, spend, owe, make more to pay debt, work more to move up make more money to spend, sleep less to work more to spend more to stay at work. All the time having no time to enjoy what you bought in the first place and less time to spend it with the ones you love. Work all year to have 5 days. Do we really enjoy what we do for a living? And why is it called “a living” Do we really enjoy what we do “till Death?” When yo are working to pay your debt it is not called living. It should be called a waste of time. I talked to a friend recently and she is finally doing something she loves. She is a caregiver. She loves helping people. her only drawback is getting too attached because in essence she is preparing them for death. Elderly and terminal patients. I am sure in some cases there are patients in need of care until they get better….but they need love in any case. They need proper care. The rewards must be tremendous. I personally applaud the medical profession. My mother was a 35 year veteran of the nursing profession. She loved every moment of it until they ran her out of the hospital because they said she was too old. Forgive me….but that is messed up. She enjoyed it. She loved helping people and she was devastated. But she overcame. She is my hero. She had been running marathons since a car wreck that should have crippled her in 1983. She still runs to this day at 76 Well….more like power walking. I bet those people that said to her she was too old cannot walk a mile in her shoes. My point in all this rant? If you are an artist..paint, sculpt, draw, sing…..do whatever it is God gave you to enjoy this life and inspire others to do the same. Make the positive wheel spin. Make it the top 5 of things to do aside from your family and loved ones. if you are a non artistic take the same advice. Find a way to inspire people to love cherish hope and be comforting to strangers in need when the opportunity presents itself. you will know in your heart when it s time.What I find really hysterical is that there are some artists that feel they are all together and they are so talented and wonderfully gifted but yet they are so desperate. they cannot find happiness in their work. they cannot find fulfillment in what they PRODUCE. And that is essentially the problem right there they are producing pieces of work instead of CREATING masterpieces. Their soul is being cheated of releasing love. they do not connect with their inner self. Creating pieces of artwork is for everyone to enjoy and be inspired. Or creating pieces to inspire the artists themselves to be reminded of their gift. The gift that brings them love and joy. Lonely is the artist that does not create.

Purpose in Happiness

There is so much to say when you are happy. You want to climb the highest mountain and shout to everyone what they have and are missing. Your enthusiasm is so great and energy level is so high!!! Your soul wants to scream. Sadly there are the majority of people that do not accept this type of openness. We are a very few and far between. I have my weaknesses and my shortcomings. I curse like a marine and drink like an alcoholic. I lose my temper and rant about the silly things and as I am on a rant I start to laugh and realize that the energy I am expending is better suited for laughter instead of anger. We learn as we go. My uncle Fr. Roberto Quinonez was always positive. He was truly happy. He loved people. He served in the jungles of Peru for 18 years serving the poor. Those so called poor that had very little and yet had more than we did. In the jungles they built themselves a paradise. Giant house huts made of bamboo high in the trees. Beautiful rooms and living spaces. The people were amazing. At 15 I had the experience of a lifetime. I could go on about the experience but I would get away from the richness of the lesson I learned. Everyone I met and observed in that country taught me the true meaning of happiness especially my uncle Beto. He was an amazing man. He loved everyone and it was reciprocated tenfold. He gave of himself like no one else I have ever seen at that point in my life other than my Grandmother. A saint! Another story…damn that’s a novel in itself the unselfishness she had for others. She let her own family rob her mattress. The Bank. She kept all of her money there. She always knew who took a dollar here and there. She would tell me and giggle.

Love. My uncle and grandmother gave of themselves truly unconditionally. They loved unconditionally. Very few people know the true definition of that word. I knew of it my whole life and was always on a journey to find that world where everyone was respectful of each other. I always was disappointed in people and situations when I put myself in search of that feeling.

I always tried to mimic the wonderful things my uncle did for people. My temper always got in the way. I was too judgmental. I always figured something was wrong with everyone else but not me. The problem was with me all along and all I need to do was love. I walked away from wonderful friendships because I did not know the word forgiveness. I left beautiful women with huge hearts and purpose in their life and I thought something was wrong with them. I blew off co-workers and acquaintances because I perceived them in attack mode towards me. I had my perceptions all wrong. I still have a lot of learning to do when it comes to loving others and accepting fully the richness of our differences. I was taught a very young age of a man that walked this earth that hated religion and people who judged others, people who did not love one another as equals being connected. He taught the masses to love and more importantly to love and finally he taught them how to love. Basically he was teaching how to love. And yet after all that redundant teaching you would think the masses received the lesson and reciprocated…. he was murdered. He was killed in spite of all the love he showed. In his last breath he begged his father to forgive all those that hurt him. He was a true loving person. He loathed religion and yet his followers created a religion(s) in his name cursing and judging others. Putting fear in the hearts and minds of families and children. Am I upset? No but I am aware that love is the unconditional force that connects all of us through all weather and storm. I struggle with generalizing my love, applying it to everyone and everything. It takes courage to accept and hold dear the human condition. We are all different and are exposed to different environments which dictate our opinions and life’s passions. We all have the opportunity to create anything we want regardless of our experience and challenges. Yet sometimes we choose to justify our fear and failures with our challenges and fears.

We do not have a purpose in our minds because we are so afraid to follow our calling and passion. It is funny it took me just short of 50 years of my life to figure out my dreams and visions were a calling. I thought it was an unattainable thought. It all begins with thought and then a dream. And then the dream turns in to passion. It is all we think about and then we get tired of dreaming and hoping that we pull up our big person pants and take a chance. And then another…we fail over and over until we satisfy one day the burning desire to succeed. Success is measured in my mind by the completeness I feel inside for achieving something I love.

I love helping others. I love helping THAT someone that appreciates themselves and wants to improve. I love helping those people that are tired of looking in the mirror at the waste they created of a human being. And now they want to become more. The only thing standing in their way is their inability to be happy. That is where I and others like me come in. We teach one simple thing. Make a choice to be happy. That’s it. Make a conscious choice to BE happy. Not act happy but BE the essence of happiness. Inside out not outside in. We were given those gifts to overcome as a birthright by our creator. It is physically impossible for us to accept death without a purpose. There are heroes made from purpose and failures. Failures in attempts and purpose in what motivated them to succeed.

Look in the mirror. See a true hero. Be brave and accept Happiness. I tell people we all have a choice to be happy or the opposite. Right now I am pushing 50, overweight, cant breather right, hair is falling out, teeth are grinding and getting smaller, cant cant cant……is a part of my vocabulary more than any time in my life. On the flipside…I have an amazing job. I help some amazing people get through their day because they have to be there to make a living to feed and help support themselves and family. I get to watch everyone start their day sad and then they have to deal with me being silly all day. Hugging and kissing them until they either turn me in to HR or smile. If they smile and then turn me in it was worth it. It has happen. It had purpose to the madness. I also have the privilege of mentoring several individuals on the level of happiness they currently reside in if any at all.I Have been blessed to be called Papa(grandpa) by 6 amazing little boys. I have beautiful children that all make me proud to be their father. I have found someone to stand by me patiently accepting me for who I am one hundred percent non-judgmental and unconditionally loving me. Supporting me when my emotions take over and I become the Jeckyll to my Hyde. Life is funny with loss, you get it back. 

 

Mentoring happiness is an amazing feeling. I watch people come from crying everyday to learning how to laugh and be happy in any situation. So many emotions run through me when I see progress. All I want is for them to realize that the decision to be happy is their hands. The happiness they crave and hope for is not predicated on external vices and situations. Nor is it reliant on an individual or in an expectation of a circumstance. We have that control to develop our own perceptions as our OWN. It doesn’t take a scientist to figure it out, all it takes is someone to love you and guide you towards a warm hug and encouragement. We can all be that light for anyone. We do not need a license or PHD. All we need is Love. The kind of love that my grandmother uncle Beto and Jesus Christ taught. These wonderful figures in my life were always instrumental in getting me through rough challenges in my life. I am thankful to my family. I am thankful for the brave man on that cross using himself as a purpose to teach us Love. He loved us that much to be THE example. There have been recordings of other amazing prophets, teachers and saints all justified ion their own write as the figure in their life that empowers them. I am not going to sit here and judge what is right from wrong and ask you to change your belief system. That is up to you and your research. If you have not done research start moving.

I am here to give my opinion on how happiness is achieved. I know I was redundant in my articulation of ideas and philosophy…. But I am trying. Who isn’t? Someone HAS to do it. Someone has to give up a little of their time to plant the seeds of a happy philosophy in people’s hearts. I hope I have done that for you. I will be writing more.

I am ranting. If you are a follower of my writings from my previous blog then you’ll understand. I am not going to try and make it pretty. I am going to make it honest.

I love you.

The Complexity of Happiness by Praveen Vaidyanathan

The word happy sounds familiar and doesn’t seem especially philosophical. It expresses a concept called happiness that we assume we understand, at least to some degree. Although it seems so easy, articulating the concept isn’t. In fact, for long as philosophers have been discussing happiness, its definition has been debated.

Happiness is plural. People present happiness in various rubrics and experience it differently. Some find happiness in aims, achievements or acquiring things, others purely on experiences. For one it may mean running barefoot through a dewy grass, for another it’s holding a baby in his arms. Sex can make someone happy, as can a new outfit. Some like monks even experience happiness in the absence of all of these. Each of the above is a valid vision of happiness. Happiness isn’t simple, singular or similar for all. It is perhaps the most complex and subjective term in the English language.

Happiness is changing. People have various conceptions of happiness, and they depend on many factors such as age, gender, region, religion and culture. Jennifer Aaker, a Stanford social psychologist, explains that these conceptions also change from time to time, as they move through their lives. What may seem happy today may not be so tomorrow.

Happiness is paradoxical. For instance, many people commonly equate happiness with fun. Hence, in order to be happy, they believe that their lives need to be full of fun. Unfortunately, this expectation of happiness is never usually realized because always having fun is far from possible; and with the modern society becoming used to more choices and less patience, expectations rise. According to Barry Schwartz, a Swarthmore psychologist, our increasing expectations mean that we are always on a search to appease ourselves. Even if we believe we have the key to happiness within ourselves, our pursuit of it seems to be an external one.

Happiness is shapeless. The beauty of the concept of happiness is that is seems to belong to a virgin fairyland, bleached in nuance and vagueness. This is why the terrain of real life, criss-crossed by pain and beauty and monotony and tears and stress and ideas and eroticism, can have its contours reflected by the shapeless notion of happiness.

The complexity of happiness – with its plural, changing, paradoxical and ambiguous notions – makes it creative fodder, offering endless possibilities to the advertising business. Yet, many use it unthinkingly and often superficially. Happiness as a central theme – with its facets and complexities – deserves more documentation, time, understanding and importance than we credit it. No wonder, Don Draper of Mad Men puts it rightly, ‘Advertising is based on one thing, happiness.

See Praveen Vaidyanathan’s blog at the following link The Complexity of Happiness

Be Happy

I want to get through to you my loved ones but you do not listen. Why do I take it so personal because I want you to feel the same joy I feel daily? I take it so hard when I see you sad and negative. Sometimes it affects me when I constantly send messages and hints that life is beautiful. I even have proof in my life and you still ignore the message. I am here for you and I love you. I always encourage you to smile and FEEL happiness yet you continue to frown and be down. What will it take for you to understand that life does not have to be such a struggle? It is a beautiful ride full of challenges and opportunities to improve and create joy for yourself. We all have the same fight on this journey. We all have the same fate. With that alone should be reason enough to take a look at our days as special gifts that we are here one more time to give it another shot. Why not just be happy today if you are not waking up tomorrow. And if you last the week then you had a joyous week. How great can that be? IS another person keeping you from that happiness? Then step away or distance yourself from that person. If you cannot distance yourself from them then know that it is not your fault that they are using you as a target to unload their shit on you. Most people do not even realize they are hurting their loved ones until they are better. Then it is too late. But never too late to apologize and make things better. To move on. To love. To smile. To give yourself the gift of your new life you can create. Thank God he gave us this gift of the real reality most do not even know about. The reality that exists in our mind. He created us in his image. He created the universe with a thought. We have that power. He created the universe with his love. WE have that capacity to love. Use it. Love one person unconditionally. They will forward that love. Then another. Then another. It is like Multi-Marketing Love. Everyone shares the more it is passed on. Quit wasting time my loved ones. Be happy.