Happiness

1. Choose to Be Happy at Work

Happiness is largely a choice. I can hear many of you arguing with me, but it’s true. You can choose to be happy at work. Sound simple? Yes. But, simplicity is often profoundly difficult to put into action. I wish all of you had the best employer in the world, but, face it, you may not.

So, think positively about your work. Dwell on the aspects of your work you like. Avoid negative people and gossip. Find coworkers you like and enjoy and spend your time with them. Your choices at work largely define your experience. You can choose to be happy at work.

2. Do Something You Love Every Single Day

You may or may not love your current job and you may or may not believe that you can find something in your current job to love, but you can. Trust me.

Take a look at yourself, your skills and interests, and find something that you can enjoy doing every day. If you do something you love every single day, your current job won’t seem so bad. Of course, you can always make your current job work or decide that it is time to quit your job.

3. Take Charge of Your Own Professional and Personal Development

A young employee complained to me recently that she wanted to change jobs because her boss was not doing enough to help her develop professionally. I asked her whom she thought was the person most interested in her development. The answer, of course, was that she was.

You are the person with the most to gain from continuing to develop professionally. Take charge of your own growth; ask for specific and meaningful help from your boss, but march to the music of your personally developed plan and goals. You have the most to gain from growing – and the most to lose, if you stand still.

4. Take Responsibility for Knowing What Is Happening at Work

People complain to me daily that they don’t receive enough communication and information about what is happening with their company, their department’s projects, or their coworkers. Passive vessels, they wait for the boss to fill them up with knowledge. And, the knowledge rarely comes.

Why? Because the boss is busy doing her job and she doesn’t know what you don’t know. Seek out the information you need to work effectively. Develop an information network and use it. Assertively request a weekly meeting with your boss and ask questions to learn. You are in charge of the information you receive.

5. Ask for Feedback Frequently

Have you made statements such as, “My boss never gives me any feedback, so I never know how I’m doing.” Face it, you really know exactly how you’re doing. Especially if you feel positively about your performance, you just want to hear him acknowledge you. If you’re not positive about your work, think about improving and making a sincere contribution.

Then, ask your boss for feedback. Tell him you’d really like to hear his assessment of your work. Talk to your customers, too; if you’re serving them well, their feedback is affirming. You are responsible for your own development. Everything else you get is gravy

6. Make Only Commitments You Can Keep

One of the most serious causes of work stress and unhappiness is failing to keep commitments. Many employees spend more time making excuses for failing to keep a commitment, and worrying about the consequences of not keeping a commitment, than they do performing the tasks promised.

Create a system of organization and planning that enables you to assess your ability to complete a requested commitment. Don’t volunteer if you don’t have time. If your workload is exceeding your available time and energy, make a comprehensive plan to ask the boss for help and resources. Don’t wallow in the swamp of unkept promises.

7. Avoid Negativity

Choosing to be happy at work means avoiding negative conversations, gossip, and unhappy people as much as possible. No matter how positively you feel, negative people have a profound impact on your psyche. Don’t let the negative Needs and Nellies bring you down. Take a look at:

• How to Deal With a Negative Coworker: Negativity Matters.
• Dealing With Difficult People at Work.

And, keep on singing in the car on your way to work – or start.

8. Practice Professional Courage

If you are like most people, you don’t like conflict. And the reason why is simple. You’ve never been trained to participate in meaningful conflict, so you likely think of conflict as scary, harmful, and hurtful. Conflict can be all three; done well, conflict can also help you accomplish your work mission and your personal vision.

Conflict can help you serve customers and create successful products. Happy people accomplish their purpose for working. Why let a little professional courage keep you from achieving your goals and dreams? Make conflict your friend.

9. Make Friends

In their landmark book, First, Break All The Rules: What the World’s Greatest Managers Do Differently (), Marcus Buckingham and Curt Coffman list twelve important questions. When employees answered these questions positively, their responses were true indicators of whether people were happy and motivated at work.

One of these key questions was, “Do you have a best friend at work?” Liking and enjoying your coworkers are hallmarks of a positive, happy work experience. Take time to get to know them. You might actually like and enjoy them. Your network provides support, resources, sharing, and caring.

10. If All Else Fails, Job Searching Will Make You Smile

If all of these ideas aren’t making you happy at work, it’s time to reevaluate your employer, your job, or your entire career. You don’t want to spend your life doing work you hate in an unfriendly work environment.

Most work environments don’t change all that much. But unhappy employees tend to grow even more disgruntled. You can secretly smile while you spend all of your non-work time job searching. It will only be a matter of time until you can quit your job – with a big smile

I have made lot of mistakes in my life not realizing who is watching me. When I was younger I did not care who was watching. As I grew older and supposedly wiser I made mistakes and made choices for my life that at the time I thought was no one’s business. I realized soon that the decisions I made affected quite a few people. When you are connected to so many people who count on you, this affects all those people. In a nutshell your decisions aren’t just yours.

I can articulate myself a certain way and assume I am portraying myself a certain way and the perception could be different then what I THINK I am portraying.  Yes that is a redundant statement. I could look be perceived as a hypocrite and not know it. How would someone resolve this? I don’t know. All I can say is following what you feel in your heart is right and correct. I am sure if it does not feel right it should not be in the first place.

Look, I am not here as the moral police. I am giving advice on how to be happy. Let’s be clear here, if you are doing something that makes you feel uncomfortable and creates a negative environment and unwanted stress, figure it out for yourself. Don’t go that route. Happiness is defined in the Webster Dictionary: A state of being Happy, An experience that makes you happy. A state of well-being and contentment, a pleasurable and satisfying experience.

We all have the tools to be happy. We have the free will to choose so. If we do not facilitate that choice then we are at the mercy of our own demise. I will always give the best advice I am capable of giving. I have a limited vocabulary, limited articulation of thought. But I love all of you and would not want anyone reading this to be unhappy. I love my “enemies”. I have some, but I have upset people in my life that I am not on their santa shopping list any longer. So honestly I still love them, but they do not like me so much. I cannot control the way they feel at this point but I am sure I was responsible for their change in their perception of me. For that I cannot control. We can go in circles with this topic and upside down, but the fact of the matter is we should choose the happiness state and well-being over worry and stress. Everything will work out for the better. Everything. No matter how you look at life there is a purposeful design in everything we experience. There is an eventual positive outcome for every situation. Even in death there is blessing. That is the ultimate outcome. That is another post.

Happiness is the purpose of this website.  The posts will be driven to speak of happiness. Everyone reading has a say in the content I post, email me, comment and so on….

I love you all and have a great 4^th!

In latest interview, Pope Francis reveals top 10 Secrets to Happiness

By Carol Glatz
Catholic News Service

VATICAN CITY (CNS) — Slowing down, being generous and fighting for peace are part of Pope Francis’ secret recipe for happiness.

In an interview published in part in the Argentine weekly “Viva” July 27, the pope listed his Top 10 tips for bringing greater joy to one’s life:

1. “Live and let live.” Everyone should be guided by this principle, he said, which has a similar expression in Rome with the saying, “Move forward and let others do the same.”

“Be giving of yourself to others.” People need to be open and generous toward others, he said, because “if you withdraw into yourself, you run the risk of becoming egocentric. And stagnant water becomes putrid.”

3. “Proceed calmly” in life. The pope, who used to teach high school literature, used an image from an Argentine novel by Ricardo Guiraldes, in which the protagonist — gaucho Don Segundo Sombra — looks back on how he lived his life.

“He says that in his youth he was a stream full of rocks that he carried with him; as an adult, a rushing river; and in old age, he was still moving, but slowly, like a pool” of water, the pope said. He said he likes this latter image of a pool of water — to have “the ability to move with kindness and humility, a calmness in life.”

4. “A healthy sense of leisure.” The pleasures of art, literature and playing together with children have been lost, he said.

“Consumerism has brought us anxiety” and stress, causing people to lose a “healthy culture of leisure.” Their time is “swallowed up” so people can’t share it with anyone.

Even though many parents work long hours, they must set aside time to play with their children; work schedules make it “complicated, but you must do it,” he said.

Families must also turn off the TV when they sit down to eat because, even though television is useful for keeping up with the news, having it on during mealtime “doesn’t let you communicate” with each other, the pope said.

5. Sundays should be holidays. Workers should have Sundays off because “Sunday is for family,” he said.

6. Find innovative ways to create dignified jobs for young people. “We need to be creative with young people. If they have no opportunities they will get into drugs” and be more vulnerable to suicide, he said.

“It’s not enough to give them food,” he said. “Dignity is given to you when you can bring food home” from one’s own labor.

7. Respect and take care of nature. Environmental degradation “is one of the biggest challenges we have,” he said. “I think a question that we’re not asking ourselves is: ‘Isn’t humanity committing suicide with this indiscriminate and tyrannical use of nature?'”

8. Stop being negative. “Needing to talk badly about others indicates low self-esteem. That means, ‘I feel so low that instead of picking myself up I have to cut others down,'” the pope said. “Letting go of negative things quickly is healthy.”

9. Don’t proselytize; respect others’ beliefs. “We can inspire others through witness so that one grows together in communicating. But the worst thing of all is religious proselytism, which paralyzes: ‘I am talking with you in order to persuade you,’ No. Each person dialogues, starting with his and her own identity. The church grows by attraction, not proselytizing,” the pope said.

10. Work for peace. “We are living in a time of many wars,” he said, and “the call for peace must be shouted. Peace sometimes gives the impression of being quiet, but it is never quiet, peace is always proactive” and dynamic.

The Fear of Happiness can Cause a Lack of Passion in Your Life!

Passion is usually a pathway to joyful activities. When you engage in joyful activities it is natural to want to continue with those activities. In order to do so you must face certain realities about your life:

You may find yourself coming face to face with obstacles. Those things which are a part of your day-to-day life and work against your ability to follow your passion and preventing your long term happiness.

Resolving those things in your life which block your happiness forces you to confront aspects of your life and yourself which you have been avoiding…or worse, you were not aware of!

You may discover that you have a fear of happiness.

The reason for this is passion often draws your attention to those things in your life which are making you unhappy. Sound like the opposite of what passion is supposed to do? Let me explain:

You may be afraid of facing the reality that your long term happiness is going to require making changes in your life! Here’s the real kicker:

You probably already know exactly what those changes are. You’ve known all along. Because you have known and have chosen not to confront those issues the passion and energy in your life has, over time, drained away.

It’s easier to avoid experiencing passion altogether than to face the truth!

You find yourself avoiding the uncomfortable questions like:

“Will I be able to continue to do what I love and what makes me happy?”

“What in my life works against my being able to do what I love?”

“Am I willing to change those things in my life which prevent my happiness?”

Real happiness may require you to change something in your life.

The thought of making that change or any other changes can seem both overwhelming and terrifying at the same time. This is the underlying cause of the fear of happiness. Denial.

Most people will deny facing the truth about their unhappiness because the thought of having to change is too scary. It is easier to self-medicate with everything from alcohol to drugs and distractions to avoid dealing with change.

Using alcohol and drugs is pretty obvious so I’m not going to dwell on those issues…

What isn’t as obvious is how easy it is to avoid dealing with the truth by using distractions.

Distractions come in many shapes and flavors. Many of them can even come disguised as a fleeting interest we may have for something. It’s a disguise because real passion has a way of always forcing us to eventually deal with the truth of ourselves.

A distraction will never do this that’s why it’s called a distraction. If you have a fear of happiness you will avoid anything which may stimulate real passion.

Few people want to be placed into a situation where they have to honestly assess the quality of their lives.

Following your passion has a way of doing this. It will always make you judge certain aspects of your life. If something brought you joy and fulfillment wouldn’t you want to continue that experience?

Wouldn’t you very quickly find yourself facing any roadblocks in your life which would act to limit that joy and fulfillment? You would be faced with having to consider what the roadblocks were and whether or not the continuation of your joy and happiness was worth confronting those issues.

Being afraid to confront the issues which are the roadblocks to your happiness is often greater than the fear of not being happy.

It is for this very reason most people will choose not to allow themselves to indulge in thoughts or feelings that could possibly lead them to confronting the core issues which are the real barriers to their happiness.

Being afraid to think and feel certain things is often a symptom of the greater fear of facing those things in your life which keep you from your joy and fulfillment. This is why the lack of passion in your life may really be a fear of happiness.

Bob Baran – Fear of Happiness (article)

The day you run out of excuses

is the day your life changes…