Happiness

How Come I Am Never Satisfied With Myself?

I can only answer as it pertains to my life. I will never imply that my opinion or my experience can be applied to another.

There was a time when I could not look in the mirror because my self esteem was so low. I did not know it at the time but I was not happy. I could not figure out where this mindset came from. Nothing I did would take away that feeling. I blamed myself for this way of thinking. I was stumped because no matter what I tried I always had the same opinion of myself.

For one I did not know at the time that failure is a necessary path we need to follow in order to succeed. Secondly, I do not have the need to have something to justify loving myself. Happiness was just a decision and becoming someone else was in my control. I learned later in life that we learn everything as a child. We develop our preferences based on our environment. If you had a toxic environment as a youngster that experience and mindset is a part of your make up. You will gravitate towards that as an adult.

Once I found out how to love myself everything changed. I started with gratitude. Being thankful for what I have and who I was up to that point was powerful. Everyone has something to be thankful for. From there an individual can begin to change their mindset and opinion of themselves. I just decided one day to be happy and thankful. I practiced gratitude on a daily basis. I started to express my love for people around me that love me for me. I gave appreciation for people that accepted me for who I am. I naturally started to disassociate myself from the toxicity in my life.

I was never satisfied with myself because my expectations were that of what others though of me. I graded myself through other peoples perception of me. Or I assumed the expectations from another persons perceived opinion of me. This is a lie. It does not matter what another person thinks of who or what I am…. They do not share my mind body and spirit so their happiness is not in correlation to my own. I do not give a shit what they think. It drove me bananas worrying what others think of me.

This advice I can give, list all the good about yourself. List all the bad. When you look at the good be thankful. When you read the bad ask yourself why you wrote it. When you have the answer of why you wrote it ask yourself if it is another persons expectation or yours. If it is your expectation…. then change the perception and accept where you are at that moment, fail until you improve and calling it training for a marathon. In order to run a marathon you have to gradually build your mileage and endurance. I know I am making the process sound so simple. It is. The work is painful, but the work is needed to improve.

I hope this helps.

How to be Happy? – Listen to Your Soul

I post to share my heart and soul. My heart and soul does not want to mince its words or pretend to be something it isn’t. I am just a vessel that carries this special energy. I am getting to know my soul every day. I lived a lifetime of not listening to this stranger that dwelled inside me for 51 years. I know now that my soul craves attention. My attention. It wants to be recognized as the author of my life. I must listen now. The foregoing is expressions of my soul.

People suck! Not in the way that is bad. The societal thinking we live with is predicated by fear. Our environment is volatile and has always been on the brink of disaster. The human experience has gone through a history of change and will continue to evolve. We are just passing through to learn and teach from our experience. There are mysteries we cannot comprehend nor grasp the magnitude of importance as it plays in our life affecting and influencing others and our environment.

Bottom line we like to bitch moan and complain not looking up to see that other people are in a more challenging experience. We find fault in others when we are acting contrary to what we criticize. Hypocrisy is rampant in our lives. People like to point fingers and forget to see the three fingers pointing back at them.

All we must do is love each other and be understanding that each and every one of us has an experience that is unique. Hate, violence, ignorance, prejudice, abuse, etc. has always been there. We make it sound like it is something new and we are all going to hell. The difference now is our recording of these events and mindset thinking. The media we have is instant now. There are no filters. We are desensitized to the point that are children are losing their innocence. It is our job to protect the youth and yet we pawn the excuse as “that is the way it is”.

Love is the answer. Love? People cannot love unless they love themselves. We do not love ourselves. How do children learn how to love themselves when the things they see online are tricking them to believe that the material world is needed for them to be happy and to validate who they are as a person. They cannot be approved of unless they have enough likes in their social media account. These children are not protected from bullying and intimidation. These wonderful little souls watch the news with their parents and or watch the reality of how our society is damaged right now, they see this through the eyes of others on social media, television, games, their dysfunctional single mothers and fucked up fathers. (vice versa).

Our language is toxic along with our values. I won’t even go there then I will alienate half of you, and not in the way you are judging me.

I love people. I love humanity. I feel as if though race is an option I want to be a rainbow color. Brown arms, black face, with blond hair, green legs, yellow eyes, with a beautiful blue chest to represent my soul. And distribute the rest of the colors as needed. None of these colors I picked were for any reason because it doesn’t matter we are a human race. We are a granule of sand in a desert as compared to the earth in this universe.

When will we realize that we are special only to ourselves. We believe and are arrogant enough that we can play God to kill people because of our empirical ways of thinking. Every nation of power wants to impress upon the world its agenda. Why is there war in the first place. Why is there destruction or genocide? Why do leaders think they can be God, Judge and jury of the world and they know best? When will we stop being dishonest and admit we suck as people, from that point we can improve.

How to be Happy? Admit it

Admit it. Admit that you are unhappy first and then you will be freed of all of the pain attributed. There is nothing wrong with admitting to failure. Failure is allowing yourself to believe that you are not Good enough to move past the fears In Your life. Fear that you aren’t good enough to forgive yourself. What’s wrong with allowing yourself to stay away from negativity in your life?

We have become addicted to our pain. Our environment is bombarded with challenges of all sorts. Many of the challenges in our lives we create ourselves. We perceive these challenges as a bad thing instead of a journey for our character to be strengthened and our resolve to be fortified. With these lessons we can look back and appreciate everything we have.

How do we do this? I revert back to the title. Admit it! Admit and accept where you currently are in life. Look in the mirror and list your perceived failures and love each one of them as a reason you will be a better person.

How to be Happy? – Learn How to Wake Up Every Morning

Are You Happy?

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So I ask you… Do You Want Happiness?