I have not written in a while. I am not a hypocrite. I would
not feel right if I posted something to try and encourage all of you when I
feel like shit and am going against all my own advice. I know who and what I am
I am to not pretend to be someone I am not. I have been challenged to say the
least in my mind. I have taken on the mindset of a whining complaining little
bitch.

I am 50. I have my health. I have wonderful children. I have
my mother still alive and healthy full of life. What the heck am I letting this
stupid depression and anxiety kick my ass. I can sit here and make excuses that
it is out of my control. That is what the psychos told me in the past. I was
prescribed all sorts of medications to deaden that voices in my head. I turned
into an emotionless person. I just lived my days to get to the slumber hour.
When I woke the next day is when I had to do it all over again. I practically
ignored all of my amazing experiences because I did not want to experience all
those variety of emotions.

I want to feel the sadness and be challenged with turning
that emotion to happiness and appreciation because I chose to. I want to feel
the pain of tragedy because I want to appreciate what I had before the loss and
be thankful for having it.

We are in a society where we feel entitled. We feel that
everyone owes us something and we always want to blame someone for our pain. We
do not take responsibility when someone does not want to associate themselves
with us any longer. We want to be blunt and “ourselves” not thinking of the
people around us who are affected by our actions.

We should all have our own identity and be ourselves but
there is a time and place for everything. We sit on our high horse judging everyone’s
actions and lives as if we are grading others around us and our lives are given
a free pass. How disgusting it is for others to sit back and act as if they did
not know someone is affected by their behavior and selfishness. How ridiculous
is it for a group or an individual to impose their beliefs on others as if they
are right and the world is wrong. It is a difference of opinion.

I get angry at humanity because everyone wants to act as if
the other person is at fault for the world’s problems instead of taking responsibility,
holding themselves accountable and taking action to improve themselves and the
world around them. With technology today everyone finds it easier to hide behind
their keyboard and send cryptic anonymous messages attacking others. I respect
the true protestors that put themselves in harm’s way in order to make a
statement. A statement with non-violence. A statement against wrong.

Where are we headed? I make all of these observations and
statements in this article and probably sound like I am upset and angry. I am
not. I am n to a hypocrite. The more I experience the pain of my fellow human
being suffering the more I have to feel love and compassion. I cry in my heart
for everyone to love more. I scream for people to just give a little. To hold
back from judging one another.

We all have our faults. Own them. Have some compassion and
understanding for one another. Love one another and be forgiving. Do not judge
so quickly. Do not be a hypocrite.

I offer my life as an example. I offer my humble truth to
hopefully teach someone to deal with life differently to ultimately be happier.
My passion in life is to teach others happiness.

I Love You.