Joy

Happiness

Once a group of 50 people was attending a seminar. Suddenly the speaker stopped and decided to do a group activity. He started giving each one a balloon. Each one was asked to write his/her name on it using a marker pen. Then all the balloons were collected and put in another room.

Now these delegates were let in that room and asked to find the balloon which had their name written, within 5 minutes. Everyone was frantically searching for their name, colliding with each other, pushing around others and there was utter chaos.

At the end of 5 minutes no one could find their own balloon.
Now each one was asked to randomly collect a balloon and give it to the person whose name was written on it. Within minutes everyone had their own balloon.

The speaker began— exactly this is happening in our lives. Everyone is frantically looking for happiness all around, not knowing where it is.

Our happiness lies in the happiness of other people. Give them their happiness; you will get your own happiness.

And this is the purpose of human life.

Happiness advice from the Dalai Lama

happiness tips from the dalai lama

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“I believe that the very purpose of our life is to seek happiness.” — The Dalai Lama

Tenzin Gyatso, His Holiness the Fourteenth Dalai Lama, is the spiritual and temporal leader of the Tibetan people.  As is illustrated by the quote above, the Dalai Lama believes that the very purpose of our existence is to seek happiness.

“The Art of Happiness – A Handbook for Life” is a book written by psychiatrist Howard C. Cutler based on a series of interviews which he held with the Dalai Lama, and augmented by some of the Dalai Lama’s public talks. It contains tips and advice from the Dalai Lama on how to be happy.

Here are three of the ways recommended by the Dalai Lama for cultivating happiness:

  • Train Your Mind For Happiness
  • Shift Your Perspective
  • Cultivate Compassion and Altruism

You’ll find a detailed explanation of each below.

Happiness Can Be Achieved Through Training the Mind

The Dalai Lama’s approach to happiness relies heavily on learning, reasoning, and training the mind. He explains that through inner discipline we can undergo a transformation of our attitude, our outlook, and our approach to living.

In Buddhism causality is accepted as natural law. Therefore, if there are certain types of events that you do not desire, then the best way of safeguarding against those events taking place is to make sure that the causal conditions that normally give rise to those events don’t arise. Similarly, if there’s an event that you would like to take place, then you should seek the causes and conditions that give rise to that event.

This same principle of causality can be applied to your mental states. If you desire happiness, you should identify those factors which lead to happiness and those factors which lead to suffering. Having done this, you can gradually do the following:

  • Eliminate those factors which lead to suffering from your life.
  • Cultivate those factors which lead to happiness.

That is, one achieves happiness through learning which mental states to cultivate and which to eliminate, and then making a sustained effort to implement this knowledge.

The Dalai Lama explains that education—focused specifically on understanding and implementing the factors that lead to lasting happiness–is crucial because the more sophisticated your knowledge is about what truly leads to happiness and what doesn’t, the more effective you will be in achieving happiness.

As Cutler explains in “The Art of Happiness”, the most distinguishing feature of the Dalai Lama´s method of training the mind involves the idea that positive states of mind can act as direct antidotes to negative states of mind. Positive mental states which lead to happiness include the following:

  • Love
  • Compassion
  • Patience
  • Generosity

Negative mental states which lead to suffering include the following:

  • Hatred
  • Greed
  • Envy
  • Frustration

Deliberately selecting and focusing on positive mental states which lead to happiness, and challenging negative mental states which lead to suffering, requires a systematic training of the mind.

The Dalai Lama also emphasizes that working on our mental outlook is a more effective means of achieving happiness than seeking it through external sources, such as wealth or position. As an illustration that external events are not the source of happiness, Cutler refers in his book to people who win the lottery or experience some other windfall. These pe0ple are elated for a while, and then they go right back to the same level of happiness which they experienced before their sudden rise in wealth.

The approach of focusing on your mental outlook also places the secret to happiness within your own hands, instead of leaving it at the mercy of external factors, most of which are not within your control.

The Dalai Lama summarizes his point as follows:

“As long as there is a lack of the inner discipline that brings calmness of mind, no matter what external facilities or conditions you have, they will never give you the feeling of joy and happiness that you are seeking. On the other hand, if you possess this inner quality, a calmness of mind, a degree of stability within, then even if you lack various external facilities that you would normally consider necessary for happiness, it is still possible to live a happy and joyful life.”

Happiness Can Be Achieved By Shifting Your Perspective

The Dalai Lama goes on to explain that the ability to shift perspective is one of the most powerful and effective tools we have to help us cope with life’s problems. He adds that when problems arise, our outlook often becomes very narrow: we focus all of our attention on worrying about the problem. However, what we should do is shift our perspective by doing the following:

  • Looking for opportunities which could arise from the situation.
  • Taking a wider perspective.
  • Thinking of how things could be worse.

Shifting our perspective can make the problem seem smaller and more manageable.

Difficult situations are often opportunities for growth. Cutler interjects that he worked at a facility in which he had a number of run-ins with the facility’s administrator. These run-ins were instrumental in Cutler’s decision to quit working at that facility. Although at first this appeared to be a negative situation, it ultimately led to Cutler finding more satisfying work.

The Dalai Lama uses the approach of taking a wider perspective when dealing with the situation in Tibet. He explains that if he were to look at the situation in Tibet from a narrow perspective, then the situation looks almost hopeless. However, if he looks at it from a wider worldwide perspective, then he sees an international situation in which communist and totalitarian regimes are collapsing, and even in China there’s a move toward democracy. So he doesn’t give up.

In addition, researchers have conducted a number of experiments which demonstrate that one’s level of life satisfaction can be enhanced simply by shifting one’s perspective and contemplating how things could be worse. How we feel at any given moment has little to do with the conditions themselves, but is rather a function of how we perceive the situation and how satisfied we are with what we have.

When a situation is causing negative emotions, spend some time seriously searching for a different perspective on the situation. A key component to happiness is adopting a flexible, malleable approach to life.

Compassion and Altruism Lead to Happiness

Compassion, the Dalai Lama explains, is a mental attitude based on the rationale that all human beings have an innate desire to be happy and to overcome suffering, coupled with a desire for others to achieve this as well. It’s associated with a sense of commitment, responsibility, and respect toward the other.

In developing compassion one should begin with the wish that oneself be happy and free of suffering, and then take that natural feeling toward oneself and extend it out to include and embrace others.

In generating compassion the Dalai Lama suggests that you think of someone who is actually suffering and allow your natural response to arise: a natural feeling of compassion toward that person. Now think of how strongly you wish for that person to be free from that suffering, and resolve that you will help that person to be relieved from their suffering.

The altruism that arises from compassion is a key component of happiness. Several studies have shown that helping others can induce a calmer mind and a feeling of happiness. In a survey by Allan Luks conducted with several thousand people who were regularly involved in volunteer activities, over 90% of the volunteers reported the following:

  • A kind of “high” associated with the activity, characterized by a feeling of warmth, more energy, and a kind of euphoria.
  • After participating in the volunteer activity they had a distinct feeling of calmness and enhanced self-worth.

Conclusion

Despite all the loss he has experienced, nearly every time you see the Dalai Lama he’s either laughing or smiling. If you ask him whether he’s happy he answers “Yes” without hesitation. He emphasizes that happiness is built on the foundation of a calm, stable mind. The tips explained above are three of the ways he recommends to achieve ultimate happiness.

Another Day to Create

Today is another day to create my life. Today I have the opportunity to feel the way I want to feel and not let anyone decide for me. If the person cuts me off on the freeway they decided to be an idiot. They needed to be in front more than I needed to not let them. If my boss is a shit then they have a problem in their life they need to resolve. WHo am I to judge. If a child of mine is sad, I love them instead of taking it personal. WE all have choices of our perceptions. Although I might be way off in my perceptions from the truth…..but I would rather take a positive approach rather than be self destructive. I love waking up in the morning and hearing the birds, air breeze, cars, sirens, people and children making their way to work and so forth. I love to hear life. I love to see strangers smile. I love to feel the heat and cold. I am so in love with life. I want to share my choice and how I feel about it. I know others will appreciate my choices. I to love despite the negativity and the push back. We should always choose love. I am creating a beautiful day despite the challenges. I am choosing to write in this blog to communicate the love I feel for you even though I do not know you. If you were in front of me I would hug you and not ask for anything in return. This blog is paid for and it is for you. All I ask in return is your commitment to love others.

 

Have a Wonderful Day!

We Are All Connected

Ever since I can remember I can feel the essence of people. I can feel their pain and love deep inside. I could see right through someone and know. Know the innermost emotions. I would ask myself why. AS I got older I thought this gift was a curse. I felt like I never fit in. I felt like everyone was watching me. It felt like paranoia. I had a childhood friend that had voices, true voices in their mind. Schizophrenia? I don’t know what it was called. I often thought it was what I was feeling. The difference is this did not drive me crazy. when I became an adult I knew I had a gift, know what to do with it was very confusing. When the churches found out I had this they thought they had an answer for it. They said I had a calling. I told them everyone had this gift because we are all connected. For some reason they all were offended when I spoke this way. Friends did not understand me nor did my family. So I left, among other reasons. I experienced life. I became what the world wanted me to be. What society wanted to create of me. What was expected. I buried that person deep inside me. I gave in. I lived a life always running from my true self. Avoiding the mirror. My eyes always called me in the mirror. Wanting me to see my soul. My soul was trying to reveal itself in my life at different junctures. Again at church, People would tell me the same thing. I would leave. Another church someone else would tell me of my calling. I would leave.

Places of employment I would always be thrown into leadership roles. That is where I flourished once I got over the nack for seeing through negative and using to my advantage. I always knew I had a purpose in this life. I knew for certain at some point I had to face this calling if you will. I had to introduce myself to my soul. Discovering that true self was very hard. I was fortunate enough to have the journey in life to explore and come back. Mose of us leave this world never knowing. Never expressing themselves through the eyes of their soul. Never listening to that inner voice. The voice that is connected to our creator. A voice that is our soul. The energy and spark that gives us life. Our soul is the inspiration behind all imagination and creation. Man has the capacity of so much because they search within. Our soul. That is the gift we have. All of us. That is how we are connected. That is the love we feel out of no where. That is how we feel others pain. We all have a common thread in us. IT does not have a physical description but it has a very real purpose. Know and believe that this is real. Scientists cannot prove or disprove. THey can measure it as energy. They can give it a purpose and beginning by their language.

When we were created in the womb, we were a combination of two, a male organism and a female organism becoming one. Both had a presence and a purpose to unite with one another. These two organisms were alive. Before that they were each apart of a single larger organism. Our parents. The creation is constant. The souls are connected. We are all connected. IT was not magic. It was not a big bang. That is another story. We have the capacity. We are very powerful. There is so much more to us than we can imagine. And there is more to us that we CAN imagine. Believe. I guess if your mind is still stuck in the worlds lies that we are to be controlled and asleep, then you need to know I am trying to tell you to wake up. We are alive. Strong. Gifted. Powerful.

If we are connected then we are gifted. We can see in each other. We can feel each other. We can help each other. Inspire, encourage, love and open each others eyes. I always tend to separate myself from the negativity. I will try and improve the environment if it is within my control, so to speak. If I have exhausted all my efforts and it is a choice of the other to remain in that state, I will move on. What can we do? We can think positive all we want if the other party involved has made a decision to follow a different path I need, we need to continue on our path. Remove our self.

Remember we are connected. We can hurt ourselves if we remain. Love heals many situations. Love can only plant a seed sometimes for a future event. You might not reap the results instantly but the seed has been planted.  If we send love in our thoughts and prayers it gives them hope knowing that you have not given up. Silently they appreciate. Outwardly they are defiant. Pride is the difference. Pride can sometimes be the demise of a nations leaders. Hope is the defining moment of a people. Hope starts revolutions.