The Time Is NOW. Create that Joy.
At a certain time in our lives we start to question everything. That point in time is different for everyone. Some go through this period of enlightenment early on when they reach adulthood and figure it out and appreciate the rest of their lives. Some live the majority of their adult life working hard, stressed out, being responsible, putting everyone around them first and sacrificing their happiness for the well being of others not realizing that they can have all of it. Some spend their whole lives and realize everything was about their joy when they are in their twilight years. Then watching their grandchildren grow and loving them opens their eyes and they try desperately to teach their children not to make the same mistakes. Like I said these are just a few examples of how we find ourselves at different stages of our lives.
We all have the capacity to love, laugh and live on a daily basis. Enjoying our life regardless if your the only one in your world living that way. We can try and shove this information in our loved ones faces and teach them how to be happy. Show them how to love everyone around them. Explain to them that grudges and hate is useless. Lead by example to display our love for even our enemies. Sometimes the relationships we are around are toxic. The people we love are so much a part of us that we cannot abandon them. We love them. We would do anything for them. How do we keep our composure? I deal with this question everyday. I want to be happy everyday. I want to feel joy 24 hours a day. I want to be able to talk to someone that wants the same thing and feels the way I do. Is that possible? Whether or not it is possible I am going to feel joy. I will block out the anxiety I feel from these people in my life that claim they are happy and feeling joy. I will move forward past them and be happy inside. I will proclaim victory at the end of the day when I lay my head because In the end it my be my last time and I would not want to waste that day listening to the whining and bitching. We need to be stronger. We need to be happy.
Changes to our conscious is so important. We need to quit filling our subconscious(soul) shit from above so to speak. We need to fill our soul with thoughts of joy and hope. Expect to have a great and wonderful productive day exploring the possibilities for which we were created for. We are here to make amazing strides in humanity. We are here to love and love everyone. To challenge each other to heal each other with love and kindness. Forgiveness takes bravery. It takes courage to stand in front of someone who has caused you pain with a smile and feel no pain. I am not saying go look for that individual. What I am saying is face that memory head on and wipe the pain away. Do not let that memory continue to destroy your day or the tomorrows before they can be created. We are to create wondeful days for ourselves. We are to make ourselves joyful.
Where is the rulebook that tells us we are to be victims of our ownselves making hell for one another? Where does it say we are suppose to hate. As children we are innocent. We are love in its purest form. We should carry that throughout our lives. Acknowledge, learn, file it, move on! those of you edumacated people who have a smart answer that you learned in school kiss my ass. Analyze, judge what you want. Use that expensive education to tell me otherwise. But…I’ll tell you that the strength we need to overcome our problems that we create for ourselves is within us. Solving these hard matters of the heart and mind are answered if we just look inside. We all have the capacity for so much yet we sell ourselves short and pay someone or give up as the answer. Drugs is the pacifier or just to get by the day. Deal with it tomorrow I am to busy right now pill. I know so many hypocrites in my life. The first one is in the mirror. The next one is close by. The other one is even closer. Why do we lie to ourselves and our loved ones. Why do we tell our children one thing and do the opposite of what we taught?
In closing. Because my random thoughts are giving me a headache. Because What I really want to say is too blunt and naming names is bad for my KARMA. Yes. I said Karma. If it is a name to call that what goes around comes around. I got it out as to teach all of you to quit wasting time hating, hurting, selfdestructing, cutting, hiding, ignoring, abusing, victimizing, allowing, faking, crying, bashing, trashing, crashing…… tell your friend the pill, the pipe, the bottle and whoever else helps you forget that you want to remember and feel what it is that you will recognize what it is you are never going to let control your life again. Let it go my loved ones. Let it go. Let the joy reside. Let that joy be addictive. Allow that JOY to overcome and infiltrate every part of your life and quit making excuses as to why you wont. Let that loved one in your life know that they can be pittiful of they want but you will be happy and remind them everyday they have to look at you smiling that they are sad. Thats it.
We All Have Choices.
I have made lot of mistakes in my life not realizing who is watching me. When I was younger I did not care who was watching. As I grew older and supposedly wiser I made mistakes and made choices for my life that at the time I thought was no one’s business. I realized soon that the decisions I made affected quite a few people. When you are connected to so many people who count on you, this affects all those people. In a nutshell your decisions aren’t just yours.
I can articulate myself a certain way and assume I am portraying myself a certain way and the perception could be different then what I THINK I am portraying. Yes that is a redundant statement. I could look be perceived as a hypocrite and not know it. How would someone resolve this? I don’t know. All I can say is following what you feel in your heart is right and correct. I am sure if it does not feel right it should not be in the first place.
Look, I am not here as the moral police. I am giving advice on how to be happy. Let’s be clear here, if you are doing something that makes you feel uncomfortable and creates a negative environment and unwanted stress, figure it out for yourself. Don’t go that route. Happiness is defined in the Webster Dictionary: A state of being Happy, An experience that makes you happy. A state of well-being and contentment, a pleasurable and satisfying experience.
We all have the tools to be happy. We have the free will to choose so. If we do not facilitate that choice then we are at the mercy of our own demise. I will always give the best advice I am capable of giving. I have a limited vocabulary, limited articulation of thought. But I love all of you and would not want anyone reading this to be unhappy. I love my “enemies”. I have some, but I have upset people in my life that I am not on their santa shopping list any longer. So honestly I still love them, but they do not like me so much. I cannot control the way they feel at this point but I am sure I was responsible for their change in their perception of me. For that I cannot control. We can go in circles with this topic and upside down, but the fact of the matter is we should choose the happiness state and well-being over worry and stress. Everything will work out for the better. Everything. No matter how you look at life there is a purposeful design in everything we experience. There is an eventual positive outcome for every situation. Even in death there is blessing. That is the ultimate outcome. That is another post.
Happiness is the purpose of this website. The posts will be driven to speak of happiness. Everyone reading has a say in the content I post, email me, comment and so on….
I love you all and have a great 4th!
The Fear of HAPPINESS
The Fear of Happiness can Cause a Lack of Passion in Your Life!
Passion is usually a pathway to joyful activities. When you engage in joyful activities it is natural to want to continue with those activities. In order to do so you must face certain realities about your life:
You may find yourself coming face to face with obstacles. Those things which are a part of your day-to-day life and work against your ability to follow your passion and preventing your long term happiness.
Resolving those things in your life which block your happiness forces you to confront aspects of your life and yourself which you have been avoiding…or worse, you were not aware of!
You may discover that you have a fear of happiness.
The reason for this is passion often draws your attention to those things in your life which are making you unhappy. Sound like the opposite of what passion is supposed to do? Let me explain:
You may be afraid of facing the reality that your long term happiness is going to require making changes in your life! Here’s the real kicker:
You probably already know exactly what those changes are. You’ve known all along. Because you have known and have chosen not to confront those issues the passion and energy in your life has, over time, drained away.
It’s easier to avoid experiencing passion altogether than to face the truth!
You find yourself avoiding the uncomfortable questions like:
“Will I be able to continue to do what I love and what makes me happy?”
“What in my life works against my being able to do what I love?”
“Am I willing to change those things in my life which prevent my happiness?”
Real happiness may require you to change something in your life.
The thought of making that change or any other changes can seem both overwhelming and terrifying at the same time. This is the underlying cause of the fear of happiness. Denial.
Most people will deny facing the truth about their unhappiness because the thought of having to change is too scary. It is easier to self-medicate with everything from alcohol to drugs and distractions to avoid dealing with change.
Using alcohol and drugs is pretty obvious so I’m not going to dwell on those issues…
What isn’t as obvious is how easy it is to avoid dealing with the truth by using distractions.
Distractions come in many shapes and flavors. Many of them can even come disguised as a fleeting interest we may have for something. It’s a disguise because real passion has a way of always forcing us to eventually deal with the truth of ourselves.
A distraction will never do this that’s why it’s called a distraction. If you have a fear of happiness you will avoid anything which may stimulate real passion.
Few people want to be placed into a situation where they have to honestly assess the quality of their lives.
Following your passion has a way of doing this. It will always make you judge certain aspects of your life. If something brought you joy and fulfillment wouldn’t you want to continue that experience?
Wouldn’t you very quickly find yourself facing any roadblocks in your life which would act to limit that joy and fulfillment? You would be faced with having to consider what the roadblocks were and whether or not the continuation of your joy and happiness was worth confronting those issues.
Being afraid to confront the issues which are the roadblocks to your happiness is often greater than the fear of not being happy.
It is for this very reason most people will choose not to allow themselves to indulge in thoughts or feelings that could possibly lead them to confronting the core issues which are the real barriers to their happiness.
Being afraid to think and feel certain things is often a symptom of the greater fear of facing those things in your life which keep you from your joy and fulfillment. This is why the lack of passion in your life may really be a fear of happiness.
Bob Baran – Fear of Happiness (article)
The day you run out of excuses
is the day your life changes…
6 Simple Ways You Can Control Your Own Happiness That You Probably Didn’t Think Of Before
Here are six ways you can control your very own happiness:
- Let happiness be the first thing you emotionally choose when you wake up
People who are always happy, are happy for one main reason: they make it their daily goal. Happiness can be poorly understood- happiness is not an object that sits on your nightstand. It does not wait for you to wake up, to have you put it on after you brush your teeth and put on your watch. Happiness is not an object- it is a mental or emotional state of well-being defined by positive or pleasant emotions. Happiness needs you to come to it. It needs to be your goal, each and everyday. Choose it. Own it. At the end of the day, fall asleep knowing that you have accomplished at least one important thing at the day: you chose happiness out of all emotions and you will continue to choose happiness to be one of your life’s top goals.
- Appreciate those small moments
Happiness doesn’t always stem from grand things. Yes, that overtime that had hit your bank account at midnight last night will be spent on past due bills and extra cash to spend on yourself – that always feels good. However, that moment of happiness is only temporary. When you wake up and see the notification on your phone that your direct deposit had made it to your bank account at 12:00 am, that feeling of happiness will leave you as fast as it came, because as we know, materialistic belongings tend to fade, wear out and our happiness wears and fades too. Cherish small moments. We often take for granted the two minutes here, or the six minutes there. But, if you pay close enough of attention, you will experience a longer linger of happiness when you take a hike and stop to see the rush of the water run down the waterfall. The smell of the water hitting the rocks, and the splashing of the water hitting your face- only happiness you will feel. Show gratitude for small moments. They are experiences that will never wear and tear on us.
- Practice Self-Love
Loving yourself is so very important because it is remembering where our power is. First we take in the love of the Universe. Secondly, we give ourselves more of that love. When we begin to be filled with this abundance of love, we then pour it into the hearts of others. Self-Love takes practice and patience. It is hard to grasp the concept of loving yourself when there has been one too many times where the Universe has convinced us that we were not worthy of love. However, you are. Find love in yourself and you will soon begin to prove the Universe wrong- you are deserving of your own love. Once you have that, then you will be ready to love others, unconditionally. Remember, it starts with “me” so that we can one day build a strong “we”.
- Find new interests that bring you happiness
The other day I sat at a bookstore, I ordered an espresso and I read a book. I was at peace with my inner-being. My mind was clear. I was not thinking about the laundry I needed to start, or the dishwasher I needed to empty. My mind was captivated by the peace that filled my inner-being. I sat in that bookstore for three hours- it was the best three hours spent. When I was driving home, I had thought to myself, “I was content, comfortable and happy.” And, I was. Before I went to bed, I wrote down another day in my planner to plan trip to the bookstore. It is my new interest. Find yours!
- Practice mindfulness I was guilty lacking this specific practice myself. Just until a few months ago, I had realized the absolute importance of mindfulness. Being mindful is a state of active, open attention on the present. When you are mindful, you observe your thoughts and feelings from a far. This consists of no judging them good nor bad. This takes practice. Meditation is one technique that I highly recommend. It has helped me therapeutically- having past issues with understanding my emotions, how to handle them all at once, and over thinking where they were coming from and why I was feeling them- meditating has taught me that you do not have to sit close to them. But observe them. Be awake. Listen to them. Lean into them. Be mindful.
- Always keep reaching
Success is not handed to us. On our eighteenth birthday, we do not open a gift of success. Success is driven by dedication, hard work, perseverance and the ability to always keep reaching. I believe that there comes a point in our lives where we tend to stop reaching for the endless possibilities. Maybe because we have been rejected before, not been “good enough” or “qualified enough” for the job we desperately wanted. Or maybe we have personal beliefs that if we reach for something that we think is out of our reach, we will be end up feeling not good enough or competent enough, like all of the other times you have been rejected or told so. If I can give you any advice: please, never let your letdowns, rejections or failures, determine your future successes. Keep reaching, always. Never put your hand down because someone once made you feel you were not qualified enough to have it out and raised in the first place. Success is in your control- so let it be.