Open-mindedness

Today is another day to create my life. Today I have the opportunity to feel the way I want to feel and not let anyone decide for me. If the person cuts me off on the freeway they decided to be an idiot. They needed to be in front more than I needed to not let them. If my boss is a shit then they have a problem in their life they need to resolve. WHo am I to judge. If a child of mine is sad, I love them instead of taking it personal. WE all have choices of our perceptions. Although I might be way off in my perceptions from the truth…..but I would rather take a positive approach rather than be self destructive. I love waking up in the morning and hearing the birds, air breeze, cars, sirens, people and children making their way to work and so forth. I love to hear life. I love to see strangers smile. I love to feel the heat and cold. I am so in love with life. I want to share my choice and how I feel about it. I know others will appreciate my choices. I to love despite the negativity and the push back. We should always choose love. I am creating a beautiful day despite the challenges. I am choosing to write in this blog to communicate the love I feel for you even though I do not know you. If you were in front of me I would hug you and not ask for anything in return. This blog is paid for and it is for you. All I ask in return is your commitment to love others.

Have a Wonderful Day!

Ever since I can remember I can feel the essence of people. I can feel their pain and love deep inside. I could see right through someone and know. Know the innermost emotions. I would ask myself why. AS I got older I thought this gift was a curse. I felt like I never fit in. I felt like everyone was watching me. It felt like paranoia. I had a childhood friend that had voices, true voices in their mind. Schizophrenia? I don’t know what it was called. I often thought it was what I was feeling. The difference is this did not drive me crazy. when I became an adult I knew I had a gift, know what to do with it was very confusing. When the churches found out I had this they thought they had an answer for it. They said I had a calling. I told them everyone had this gift because we are all connected. For some reason they all were offended when I spoke this way. Friends did not understand me nor did my family. So I left, among other reasons. I experienced life. I became what the world wanted me to be. What society wanted to create of me. What was expected. I buried that person deep inside me. I gave in. I lived a life always running from my true self. Avoiding the mirror. My eyes always called me in the mirror. Wanting me to see my soul. My soul was trying to reveal itself in my life at different junctures. Again at church, People would tell me the same thing. I would leave. Another church someone else would tell me of my calling. I would leave.

Places of employment I would always be thrown into leadership roles. That is where I flourished once I got over the nack for seeing through negative and using to my advantage. I always knew I had a purpose in this life. I knew for certain at some point I had to face this calling if you will. I had to introduce myself to my soul. Discovering that true self was very hard. I was fortunate enough to have the journey in life to explore and come back. Mose of us leave this world never knowing. Never expressing themselves through the eyes of their soul. Never listening to that inner voice. The voice that is connected to our creator. A voice that is our soul. The energy and spark that gives us life. Our soul is the inspiration behind all imagination and creation. Man has the capacity of so much because they search within. Our soul. That is the gift we have. All of us. That is how we are connected. That is the love we feel out of no where. That is how we feel others pain. We all have a common thread in us. IT does not have a physical description but it has a very real purpose. Know and believe that this is real. Scientists cannot prove or disprove. THey can measure it as energy. They can give it a purpose and beginning by their language.

When we were created in the womb, we were a combination of two, a male organism and a female organism becoming one. Both had a presence and a purpose to unite with one another. These two organisms were alive. Before that they were each apart of a single larger organism. Our parents. The creation is constant. The souls are connected. We are all connected. IT was not magic. It was not a big bang. That is another story. We have the capacity. We are very powerful. There is so much more to us than we can imagine. And there is more to us that we CAN imagine. Believe. I guess if your mind is still stuck in the worlds lies that we are to be controlled and asleep, then you need to know I am trying to tell you to wake up. We are alive. Strong. Gifted. Powerful.

If we are connected then we are gifted. We can see in each other. We can feel each other. We can help each other. Inspire, encourage, love and open each others eyes. I always tend to separate myself from the negativity. I will try and improve the environment if it is within my control, so to speak. If I have exhausted all my efforts and it is a choice of the other to remain in that state, I will move on. What can we do? We can think positive all we want if the other party involved has made a decision to follow a different path I need, we need to continue on our path. Remove our self.

Remember we are connected. We can hurt ourselves if we remain. Love heals many situations. Love can only plant a seed sometimes for a future event. You might not reap the results instantly but the seed has been planted.  If we send love in our thoughts and prayers it gives them hope knowing that you have not given up. Silently they appreciate. Outwardly they are defiant. Pride is the difference. Pride can sometimes be the demise of a nations leaders. Hope is the defining moment of a people. Hope starts revolutions.

Today is my last day on earth as a walking breathing human being. Have I done enough? Did I fulfill all the expectations. Did I live up to all the standards? Was I kind enough to my fellow human beings around me? Was I a good person in general. If I was a part of a religion, did I do all the right things to receive a reward of a first class ticket to heaven?

When I finally close my eyes tonight I will dream for the last time. Will I dream? Or will I wake up on the other side into another reality. I am a little confused. My last day is today. My last few moments here on earth. I am very sleepy. I am exhausted. When I close my eyes I will not wake up back into the current reality I am experiencing. How intimidating is that. I am going to sleep for the last time tonight. I am trying to reflect back on everything I have done and I cannot remember a damn thing. As I am typing I am becoming more desperate. Shouldn’t I be appreciating all of the love I have received. Should I be thankful for all of the love I was able to share? Or did I not share enough where I can be resting easy that it was sufficient?

I want to relax for my last breath. I need to be happy. I should be at ease. I have spoken to many people about control. The one thing we can control is our mind and how we perceive our experience. I have mentored all sorts of beautiful individuals on how our mind is very powerful and we can heal ourselves of fear. I am scared. Right now I am terrified of falling asleep. Fear is consuming me. I will not survive the night. I will be dead physically. I cannot run. I cannot be consoled and hugged back into happiness. I am all alone. I am dying. My life is leaving me. My energy is dissipating. Have I done enough? Whether I have or not why am I worrying. My time is up. It is over. Everyone around me is asleep. No one knows I am dying. No one can help.

Where do I turn? How can I deal with this ultimate end? Why am I feeling guilty? I am trying to weigh the bad and the good. Does my experience hold enough of the positive? If I was lucky enough to wake in the morning can I do something that is special enough to clear my history and ensure that my legacy is honorable? Is my legacy now enough experience to leave in the hands of my children and they could be proud? Is it that important? Does it matter? DO they care? Is the body of my life enough? I cannot breathe. My time is near. I am so worried. Are my loved ones taken care of?

Should I just give up? Let it go? My life is slipping from my control. I never had control. My body mind and spirit are riddled with fear of the unknown. Where is the light. I don’t see shit. All I see is the red in my vision the redness of fear! Where am I going? Is the where nothingness and darkness. When I shut down I will not exist? Will I just not be aware of anything any longer? If we dream now is it physical because our heart is pumping and conscious brain is active? If when we die and everything is off and the blood stops pumping is it just nothing? No awareness whatsoever. I cannot even begin to articulate the difficulty to explain what I am trying to comprehend. IF nothing is nothing after our last breath, and we are worrying about the little things that we cannot control in our lives, then our lives are precious. What we have is the moment. And the current moment is precious. We are holding a moment that is rare, Our moment is fading, As time passes behind us we cannot ask for it back.

My eyes closed right now. It felt like I blinked. I remember looking at the clock and it is 25 minutes later. Where was I? This is scaring me. Why am I scared? Is my body trying to tell me something? I need more time? I’m not ready? This is all there is? Don’t go to sleep!

I’m going to sleep. I will wake up tomorrow. I will try again. I am thankful I was here. My children know who I was to them and their children. My family is proud of my legacy of love. My joy is in everyone that I touched. I have given the gift of laughter joy and love to many. I have done enough. I am happy. If I wake tomorrow and am given another opportunity, I will began where I left off. Continuing my legacy and teaching others how to love and feel joy from sunrise to sunset.

I am so happy to be alive today to see my loved ones and enjoy my life for what ever is left. We can have one day or ten years or more. I am sure we should all live our lives the same. Happy content with ourselves and our choices. i have resorted to accepting certain situations that in the past I would normally have sworn back at. Now I embrace change and the uniqueness of others. I do not have to accept or agree…but I embrace their differences. I can learn from others, Let it go, or let it bother me. I have no control over others. I have control over my perceptions and my expressions. I am a very empathetic person, I am human. I hurt and sometimes hurt others. We all do this unknowingly. Or sometimes we do it to protect ourselves and yet we are sad at the result even if it is for our own good. Let go. Have peace. Love. Laugh and Live.