Why Am I Lonely Being Happy? I am dying inside right now. The people I love the most are sad and I fight to be happy every day. I surge in my high energy levels counting the moments for the next awesome encounter with helping someone. But on the flipside I carry the burdens in my heart of the sadness my loved ones feel. I wake every morning committing to be an example to them showing them that it is done by making a choice. I end the day hoping I was enough. I wake the next morn with a do over.

The pain thresh hold is usually higher for me than the normal person. I forgive and give love. I watch the people I love tell me how much they love me, and how everything is wrong with me and they are doing great. Although I accept and adopt my philosophy of “I cannot control them” It still quite frustrating and hurtful that they are in denial and I end up being the culprit. I smile. I laugh. I cry. I encourage throughout all of the life lessons we experience every day. I err in judgement and live to try it again. I make a decision that I lose a payday over…but have another chance to regain my composure and do it again. To love once more. To embrace the differences. To live free of judgement.

The road to self-discovery is rough. The journey to enlightenment is sometimes lonely. Along the way you lose contacts and alienate yourself from the comfortable position of misery. Misery surely comes with a participating audience. We are prone to join through association. The choice is always ours the pressure of inclusion is so powerful we experiment and join. The experience in that mindset is very easy and fluid because everyone is a part of it and you do not feel uncomfortable. The discomfort comes when you are the different one smiling. You look like an oddball hugging and kissing everyone. Praising everything and anyone. You find beauty in everything and cannot hold back but to share with everyone…. “Crazy” is your nickname. You add to it by trying to be the example. Alienating yourself.

The frustration ends for me here. As I write and reflect. I part this article appreciative of the wonderful opportunity to give you my love and encouragement that we are here. I am here. Write me if you need assistance, support and counsel. Life doesn’t have to feel lonely among a giant group around you because you are happier. We can connect and join a community to remind yourself we are good. We are relevant for anyone. We love unconditional and forgive endlessly. This brings peace to our forsaken world.