How do I help People be Happy? I have always been a person
that worries about people and why they are always in a bad mood or unhappy. I
have always taken it personal when people I know are sad or upset around me. It
is almost like they are my responsibility. I need to do something about it. I
can feel their emotions like if I was experiencing them. I have said it before…
I can walk into a room and immediately feel what person is feeling what, happy
or sad. It is an uncanny gift I guess. In reality we all have this ability
because we are all connected.
My Personal Happiness is a roller coaster ride to say the
least. I have more highs than lows. I used let myself suffer from depression
and let it get the best of me. I have control over it for the most part now.
For many years I did not know I was allowing myself to suffer from it. It was a
part of me that existed and I could not figure out how to reverse the emotions
I was experiencing for no reason. Emotions of insecurity and sadness. I have
been fortunate to have had wonderful friends and relatives. I have had great
experiences through my life up to this point. And some of the great experiences
could have been better if it was not for the mindset I took.
Struggling to influence others that I was perceiving as
negative towards me was a challenging task. I could be the happiest person in
the room, and someone could feel threatened by it or just not want to feel what
I was feeling, so they made it a point to not associate themselves with me. I
took it personal and let it affect my mood at the present moment. I had a
choice to not let it get to me or let it drag me down. Instead of continuing
with my mindset of happiness this became a trigger for the depressed side of
me. I would question my self-worth and think it was always my fault that
another individual would not want to associate themselves with me. This always
affected Me., I started to believe there was something wrong with me and I was
causing this. I could not get past that when it was happening.
Breakthroughs with my mindset challenges came when I had a 5
year stretch of tragedy and heartbreaks. I was at one of my lowest points in
life. I threw my hands up in the air and figured I had nothing left. I had did
not care about anyone or anything anymore other than my family. And some family
members I had to stay away from. I was at my lowest point. I was sick of being
in the cycle of sadness and disappointment. So I decided at that moment to just
be happy. It was one of the best decisions I made. I started to like the
genuine feeling of being happy every day. Eventually this practice of deciding
to be happy and planning my happiness every night before I went to bed became
easier and easier. I say it became easier because when you have been sad and
depressed for so long and you are trying to reverse the emotion, it is hard
work. It is in essence a drug addict going through detox.
I began to be mindful of the present moment more and more every
day. I would feel the rage and sadness began to overcome me as they were
approaching. I started to get addicted to the good feeling of happiness. I
started to get sick of the negative emotions that were populating my mind on a
daily basis. I started to curse at these thoughts. These thoughts would make me
angry, so angry I would began to laugh and cry out in joy to reverse the
emotion and feel good. I started to forgive myself every day. I started to
build on the small love I had for myself. I forgave everyone around me. I still
struggled and the past still tapped me on the shoulder telling me I wasn’t good
enough. I began to get sick of that voice, the voice of fear. No More!
Mentoring Throughout my life since I was 15 I have been
helping and people. It never mattered whether I was hurting or having problems
myself. As I got older it became a common tale to tell that I was helping so
many people through rough patches. My answer was always the same, you are
having problems because you are not happy. I was always asked how to figure out
their problem and I never felt comfortable with helping them figure it out. I
never did. I pushed my basic belief that if they are happy the problems will be
perceived differently and in most cases the problem no longer was a problem but
a normal part of life. A normal experience. A challenge they needed to move past
to learn from. They embraced who they were, what they were experiencing and
focused on being happy.
Disappointments vs successes are the balance we have to
accept. Not everyone wants to be helped and we have to understand that and not
take it personal. Keep the principles basic. Help people figure out how to be
happy. If you are the one unhappy….just work on being happy regardless of your
circumstances. We all have problems but we can be happy and not let the problems’
dictate our happiness. First admit the problem exists and be courageous enough
to admit or pinpoint the source. Therefore at least you know and be happy
through it. It will help the process.
Small victories are worthwhile. If you help one person out
of 10 or 20 people that is a great ratio. Be happy. Just make a difference in
one life. Be patient! Focus on the successes with that person and then
duplicate. If you are the one being helped focus on the successes in your goal
towards happiness. Build upon that feeling of happiness at any level and keep
at it focusing on the steps it took to get there.
Why I do This……
Because I love people. I am passionate in the idea that we
can all contribute to helping one another heal from a growing number of people
falling into depression every day. The numbers are staggering. We can reverse
this trend one by one. It takes courage and patience to help people. When we
help we will run into a lot of discouraging ideas and experiences. When we are
trying to heal and be happy we will have a challenge changing our addictive
mindset from negative to positive. It is possible.