I have made lot of mistakes in my life not realizing who is watching me. When I was younger I did not care who was watching. As I grew older and supposedly wiser I made mistakes and made choices for my life that at the time I thought was no one’s business. I realized soon that the decisions I made affected quite a few people. When you are connected to so many people who count on you, this affects all those people. In a nutshell your decisions aren’t just yours.

I can articulate myself a certain way and assume I am portraying myself a certain way and the perception could be different then what I THINK I am portraying.  Yes that is a redundant statement. I could look be perceived as a hypocrite and not know it. How would someone resolve this? I don’t know. All I can say is following what you feel in your heart is right and correct. I am sure if it does not feel right it should not be in the first place.

Look, I am not here as the moral police. I am giving advice on how to be happy. Let’s be clear here, if you are doing something that makes you feel uncomfortable and creates a negative environment and unwanted stress, figure it out for yourself. Don’t go that route. Happiness is defined in the Webster Dictionary: A state of being Happy, An experience that makes you happy. A state of well-being and contentment, a pleasurable and satisfying experience.

We all have the tools to be happy. We have the free will to choose so. If we do not facilitate that choice then we are at the mercy of our own demise. I will always give the best advice I am capable of giving. I have a limited vocabulary, limited articulation of thought. But I love all of you and would not want anyone reading this to be unhappy. I love my “enemies”. I have some, but I have upset people in my life that I am not on their santa shopping list any longer. So honestly I still love them, but they do not like me so much. I cannot control the way they feel at this point but I am sure I was responsible for their change in their perception of me. For that I cannot control. We can go in circles with this topic and upside down, but the fact of the matter is we should choose the happiness state and well-being over worry and stress. Everything will work out for the better. Everything. No matter how you look at life there is a purposeful design in everything we experience. There is an eventual positive outcome for every situation. Even in death there is blessing. That is the ultimate outcome. That is another post.

Happiness is the purpose of this website.  The posts will be driven to speak of happiness. Everyone reading has a say in the content I post, email me, comment and so on….

I love you all and have a great 4^th!

In latest interview, Pope Francis reveals top 10 Secrets to Happiness

By Carol Glatz
Catholic News Service

VATICAN CITY (CNS) — Slowing down, being generous and fighting for peace are part of Pope Francis’ secret recipe for happiness.

In an interview published in part in the Argentine weekly “Viva” July 27, the pope listed his Top 10 tips for bringing greater joy to one’s life:

1. “Live and let live.” Everyone should be guided by this principle, he said, which has a similar expression in Rome with the saying, “Move forward and let others do the same.”

“Be giving of yourself to others.” People need to be open and generous toward others, he said, because “if you withdraw into yourself, you run the risk of becoming egocentric. And stagnant water becomes putrid.”

3. “Proceed calmly” in life. The pope, who used to teach high school literature, used an image from an Argentine novel by Ricardo Guiraldes, in which the protagonist — gaucho Don Segundo Sombra — looks back on how he lived his life.

“He says that in his youth he was a stream full of rocks that he carried with him; as an adult, a rushing river; and in old age, he was still moving, but slowly, like a pool” of water, the pope said. He said he likes this latter image of a pool of water — to have “the ability to move with kindness and humility, a calmness in life.”

4. “A healthy sense of leisure.” The pleasures of art, literature and playing together with children have been lost, he said.

“Consumerism has brought us anxiety” and stress, causing people to lose a “healthy culture of leisure.” Their time is “swallowed up” so people can’t share it with anyone.

Even though many parents work long hours, they must set aside time to play with their children; work schedules make it “complicated, but you must do it,” he said.

Families must also turn off the TV when they sit down to eat because, even though television is useful for keeping up with the news, having it on during mealtime “doesn’t let you communicate” with each other, the pope said.

5. Sundays should be holidays. Workers should have Sundays off because “Sunday is for family,” he said.

6. Find innovative ways to create dignified jobs for young people. “We need to be creative with young people. If they have no opportunities they will get into drugs” and be more vulnerable to suicide, he said.

“It’s not enough to give them food,” he said. “Dignity is given to you when you can bring food home” from one’s own labor.

7. Respect and take care of nature. Environmental degradation “is one of the biggest challenges we have,” he said. “I think a question that we’re not asking ourselves is: ‘Isn’t humanity committing suicide with this indiscriminate and tyrannical use of nature?'”

8. Stop being negative. “Needing to talk badly about others indicates low self-esteem. That means, ‘I feel so low that instead of picking myself up I have to cut others down,'” the pope said. “Letting go of negative things quickly is healthy.”

9. Don’t proselytize; respect others’ beliefs. “We can inspire others through witness so that one grows together in communicating. But the worst thing of all is religious proselytism, which paralyzes: ‘I am talking with you in order to persuade you,’ No. Each person dialogues, starting with his and her own identity. The church grows by attraction, not proselytizing,” the pope said.

10. Work for peace. “We are living in a time of many wars,” he said, and “the call for peace must be shouted. Peace sometimes gives the impression of being quiet, but it is never quiet, peace is always proactive” and dynamic.

The Fear of Happiness can Cause a Lack of Passion in Your Life!

Passion is usually a pathway to joyful activities. When you engage in joyful activities it is natural to want to continue with those activities. In order to do so you must face certain realities about your life:

You may find yourself coming face to face with obstacles. Those things which are a part of your day-to-day life and work against your ability to follow your passion and preventing your long term happiness.

Resolving those things in your life which block your happiness forces you to confront aspects of your life and yourself which you have been avoiding…or worse, you were not aware of!

You may discover that you have a fear of happiness.

The reason for this is passion often draws your attention to those things in your life which are making you unhappy. Sound like the opposite of what passion is supposed to do? Let me explain:

You may be afraid of facing the reality that your long term happiness is going to require making changes in your life! Here’s the real kicker:

You probably already know exactly what those changes are. You’ve known all along. Because you have known and have chosen not to confront those issues the passion and energy in your life has, over time, drained away.

It’s easier to avoid experiencing passion altogether than to face the truth!

You find yourself avoiding the uncomfortable questions like:

“Will I be able to continue to do what I love and what makes me happy?”

“What in my life works against my being able to do what I love?”

“Am I willing to change those things in my life which prevent my happiness?”

Real happiness may require you to change something in your life.

The thought of making that change or any other changes can seem both overwhelming and terrifying at the same time. This is the underlying cause of the fear of happiness. Denial.

Most people will deny facing the truth about their unhappiness because the thought of having to change is too scary. It is easier to self-medicate with everything from alcohol to drugs and distractions to avoid dealing with change.

Using alcohol and drugs is pretty obvious so I’m not going to dwell on those issues…

What isn’t as obvious is how easy it is to avoid dealing with the truth by using distractions.

Distractions come in many shapes and flavors. Many of them can even come disguised as a fleeting interest we may have for something. It’s a disguise because real passion has a way of always forcing us to eventually deal with the truth of ourselves.

A distraction will never do this that’s why it’s called a distraction. If you have a fear of happiness you will avoid anything which may stimulate real passion.

Few people want to be placed into a situation where they have to honestly assess the quality of their lives.

Following your passion has a way of doing this. It will always make you judge certain aspects of your life. If something brought you joy and fulfillment wouldn’t you want to continue that experience?

Wouldn’t you very quickly find yourself facing any roadblocks in your life which would act to limit that joy and fulfillment? You would be faced with having to consider what the roadblocks were and whether or not the continuation of your joy and happiness was worth confronting those issues.

Being afraid to confront the issues which are the roadblocks to your happiness is often greater than the fear of not being happy.

It is for this very reason most people will choose not to allow themselves to indulge in thoughts or feelings that could possibly lead them to confronting the core issues which are the real barriers to their happiness.

Being afraid to think and feel certain things is often a symptom of the greater fear of facing those things in your life which keep you from your joy and fulfillment. This is why the lack of passion in your life may really be a fear of happiness.

Bob Baran – Fear of Happiness (article)

The day you run out of excuses

is the day your life changes…

Here are six ways you can control your very own happiness:

1. Let happiness be the first thing you emotionally choose when you wake up

People who are always happy, are happy for one main reason: they make it their daily goal. Happiness can be poorly understood- happiness is not an object that sits on your nightstand. It does not wait for you to wake up, to have you put it on after you brush your teeth and put on your watch. Happiness is not an object- it is a mental or emotional state of well-being defined by positive or pleasant emotions. Happiness needs you to come to it. It needs to be your goal, each and everyday. Choose it. Own it. At the end of the day, fall asleep knowing that you have accomplished at least one important thing at the day: you chose happiness out of all emotions and you will continue to choose happiness to be one of your life’s top goals.

2. Appreciate those small moments

Happiness doesn’t always stem from grand things. Yes, that overtime that had hit your bank account at midnight last night will be spent on past due bills and extra cash to spend on yourself – that always feels good. However, that moment of happiness is only temporary. When you wake up and see the notification on your phone that your direct deposit had made it to your bank account at 12:00 am, that feeling of happiness will leave you as fast as it came, because as we know, materialistic belongings tend to fade, wear out and our happiness wears and fades too. Cherish small moments. We often take for granted the two minutes here, or the six minutes there. But, if you pay close enough of attention, you will experience a longer linger of happiness when you take a hike and stop to see the rush of the water run down the waterfall. The smell of the water hitting the rocks, and the splashing of the water hitting your face- only happiness you will feel. Show gratitude for small moments. They are experiences that will never wear and tear on us.

3. Practice Self-Love

Loving yourself is so very important because it is remembering where our power is. First we take in the love of the Universe. Secondly, we give ourselves more of that love. When we begin to be filled with this abundance of love, we then pour it into the hearts of others. Self-Love takes practice and patience. It is hard to grasp the concept of loving yourself when there has been one too many times where the Universe has convinced us that we were not worthy of love. However, you are. Find love in yourself and you will soon begin to prove the Universe wrong- you are deserving of your own love. Once you have that, then you will be ready to love others, unconditionally. Remember, it starts with “me” so that we can one day build a strong “we”.

4. Find new interests that bring you happiness

The other day I sat at a bookstore, I ordered an espresso and I read a book. I was at peace with my inner-being. My mind was clear. I was not thinking about the laundry I needed to start, or the dishwasher I needed to empty. My mind was captivated by the peace that filled my inner-being. I sat in that bookstore for three hours- it was the best three hours spent. When I was driving home, I had thought to myself, “I was content, comfortable and happy.” And, I was. Before I went to bed, I wrote down another day in my planner to plan trip to the bookstore. It is my new interest. Find yours!

5. Practice mindfulness I was guilty lacking this specific practice myself. Just until a few months ago, I had realized the absolute importance of mindfulness. Being mindful is a state of active, open attention on the present. When you are mindful, you observe your thoughts and feelings from a far. This consists of no judging them good nor bad. This takes practice. Meditation is one technique that I highly recommend. It has helped me therapeutically- having past issues with understanding my emotions, how to handle them all at once, and over thinking where they were coming from and why I was feeling them- meditating has taught me that you do not have to sit close to them. But observe them. Be awake. Listen to them. Lean into them. Be mindful.
6. Always keep reaching

Success is not handed to us. On our eighteenth birthday, we do not open a gift of success. Success is driven by dedication, hard work, perseverance and the ability to always keep reaching. I believe that there comes a point in our lives where we tend to stop reaching for the endless possibilities. Maybe because we have been rejected before, not been “good enough” or “qualified enough” for the job we desperately wanted. Or maybe we have personal beliefs that if we reach for something that we think is out of our reach, we will be end up feeling not good enough or competent enough, like all of the other times you have been rejected or told so. If I can give you any advice: please, never let your letdowns, rejections or failures, determine your future successes. Keep reaching, always. Never put your hand down because someone once made you feel you were not qualified enough to have it out and raised in the first place. Success is in your control- so let it be.