death

How to Live in the Present

When I look in the mirror I am very critical. I want to be the best me I can be. I know I have my failures and I am very aware of the imperfections that compose my character. I know that my imperfections make me. I accept all of me all the time and I am happy to be me. If I am a person that helps others I need to love myself and appreciate where I am at in the present. I cannot be wishy washy and unsure of who I am.
I have been helping people deal with their demons and depression for many years. I am not a professional but I have always been a go to person for anyone and everyone. Since I was at a very young age I have been a magnet for this stuff. I never turn people away. Years ago when I was suffering from anxiety and depression I would help people as I would flirt with suicide, self-destructive attitudes and no one would know this. Yet I never turned anyone away. Why? Because I believed if I turned someone away, someone would turn their back on me one day. This has happened to me. Helping people and seeing them improve is an amazing experience. Changing the perception and mindset of someone with a toxic way of thinking is very rewarding. It is not about my ego I find enjoyment it is the satisfaction that someone will not feel what I was feeling anymore.
Today I am happy. My mindset is positive 85 percent of the time. I am always going to struggle with my depression and anxiety. I found out it is in my genes. It is hereditary and in the makeup of one of my parents. I cannot deny this. I have to embrace it to the point where I am aware of it so I can see it as it arrives in my consciousness. It is like a huge dark cloud on the horizon. You see it coming and you prepare. You get everything ready and prepare for the worse. When the storm comes you get what you get and try to come out of it alive and with minimal damage. You cannot avoid the storm. It is on its way. There is no running from it. So prepare for whatever is going to arrive. It is like death. It will come eventually. Prepare for it. Do not worry about it because it is inevitable. Enjoy the now. Give yourself an opportunity to thrive.
I teach Happiness. I do not solve people problems. I observe the mindset of people and help them with their awareness of the deficiencies in their happiness. I truly believe that if we are happy we can solve any problems and address situations with a clear and focused plan. If our thoughts are organized and open to flexibility we can grow. IF we are positive we can grow! Yes. We have the capacity in that state of mind to look back and learn from the minute before. We can be happy in the present and appreciate the relief we feel and the negativity is an afterthought. If we practice this on a regular basis we can condition our minds to remain in the positive mindset because it is more natural and feels good.
I make it sound very simple. It is simple to make a decision to be happy and it is very hard work to remain in that state of mind. But like anything else in life we have to work hard to reap the rewards of training. When I look in the mirror I see a man that has been through a lifetime of experiences. I see a person that knows how to love unconditionally. I can truly look at my “enemies” and love them. They are not enemies. They are my brothers and sisters that have not yet experience awareness of who they are and where they are in the present.

The point here is to love yourself. Accept your present. Do not expect anything except to love and be loved. Live today. Appreciate the present and use the experience of awareness and teach others.
As always I love you! I am here for you. I write for you.
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Consistency. Why do we procrastinate? I for one do it because I get side tracked. Is it a conspiracy from SATAN? No… Maybe… But for sure we allow the media and all the different things around us taking us away from what we love to keep our focus on. For instance….. We watch the news right now and what are we seeing? Violence, terrorism, war and so forth. We turn off the TV or internet and we keep thinking of that. We worry. We analyze. We are distracted and then we become complacent. We do not continue. WE become inconsistent. There are so many things that keep us from what our focus is. The main thing is our fears. I have spoken about fears.

Fear is the deciding factor in our daily lives. Either we are too afraid to try or we are too afraid to say no or yes. We are too afraid to make a decision to be happy. We are too afraid we might hurt someone to give ourselves a chance. We are too afraid to stand up for ourselves. We are too afraid to have faith. Faith is a very loaded concept.

Faith is a mindset. We believe something that is not yet there and yet we know with all of our strength and courage that it is there, it will be there and there was never a doubt. Faith should be all consuming. Faith is courageous. Faith is a sign of strength. Faith takes balls. Faith is challenging.

Challenges. Wow. One leads to another. Fear, is overcome by faith, faith takes courage, and challenges are a joke when we apply the aforementioned. What a concept. The question is… What are we having Faith in? God, Some form of God, Ourselves, Ourselves as God (like).

We all have our beliefs. I have mine. All I can opinionate is that we all should have faith in the mindset that whatever it is that created and sustains us as a species in the vast universe, We are cut from the same cloth. As a parent gives life to their child, the child grows up to become just like the parent. We are created from a piece of what created us. If the universe is so powerful, hence we are likewise in that respect. There are mysterious things that happen that we only see through a telescope, but we have our universe inside of us in the micro. We are capable of producing the same energy that the macro universe creates. It has been proven that we are very powerful and yet we are too busy worrying about what is less important. We are distracted from our own truth.

If we only knew as a collective species the amount of pressure we could put on all evil we would have a very happy place to coexist. Instead we live in fear, and that is the distraction that keeps us unhappy. Unhappiness breads a chain of negativity. One dominoes another. It all begins with one soul. Since we are all connected all it takes is one bad disease to infect the rest. The opposite holds just as true. One positive smile is infectious. One good deed is rewarded with a pay it forward mindset. Eventually it becomes contagious. But if we allow fear to cloud our perception then any actions taken will be worthless. We can smile, be happy and blow smoke up our ass believing that we can pretend. But if we do not feel it and believe it truly we will always fail. And failure is not an option if you want to break this negative cycle.

Love. Believe it or not, is the answer. What a cliché. But it is the truth. LOVE! Is what holds us together. If there wasn’t a small amount of love in this world left it would be gone. After you read this (all 3 of you) go love someone. Someone you wouldn’t expect to express it too. Make it meaningful and sincere. A small gesture is huge in someones perception of you not loving them. If you do not understand everything I have written then you are not ready. Your loss. I still Love you.

There is so much to say when you are happy. You want to climb the highest mountain and shout to everyone what they have and are missing. Your enthusiasm is so great and energy level is so high!!! Your soul wants to scream. Sadly there are the majority of people that do not accept this type of openness. We are a very few and far between. I have my weaknesses and my shortcomings. I curse like a marine and drink like an alcoholic. I lose my temper and rant about the silly things and as I am on a rant I start to laugh and realize that the energy I am expending is better suited for laughter instead of anger. We learn as we go. My uncle Fr. Roberto Quinonez was always positive. He was truly happy. He loved people. He served in the jungles of Peru for 18 years serving the poor. Those so called poor that had very little and yet had more than we did. In the jungles they built themselves a paradise. Giant house huts made of bamboo high in the trees. Beautiful rooms and living spaces. The people were amazing. At 15 I had the experience of a lifetime. I could go on about the experience but I would get away from the richness of the lesson I learned. Everyone I met and observed in that country taught me the true meaning of happiness especially my uncle Beto. He was an amazing man. He loved everyone and it was reciprocated tenfold. He gave of himself like no one else I have ever seen at that point in my life other than my Grandmother. A saint! Another story…damn that’s a novel in itself the unselfishness she had for others. She let her own family rob her mattress. The Bank. She kept all of her money there. She always knew who took a dollar here and there. She would tell me and giggle.

Love. My uncle and grandmother gave of themselves truly unconditionally. They loved unconditionally. Very few people know the true definition of that word. I knew of it my whole life and was always on a journey to find that world where everyone was respectful of each other. I always was disappointed in people and situations when I put myself in search of that feeling.

I always tried to mimic the wonderful things my uncle did for people. My temper always got in the way. I was too judgmental. I always figured something was wrong with everyone else but not me. The problem was with me all along and all I need to do was love. I walked away from wonderful friendships because I did not know the word forgiveness. I left beautiful women with huge hearts and purpose in their life and I thought something was wrong with them. I blew off co-workers and acquaintances because I perceived them in attack mode towards me. I had my perceptions all wrong. I still have a lot of learning to do when it comes to loving others and accepting fully the richness of our differences. I was taught a very young age of a man that walked this earth that hated religion and people who judged others, people who did not love one another as equals being connected. He taught the masses to love and more importantly to love and finally he taught them how to love. Basically he was teaching how to love. And yet after all that redundant teaching you would think the masses received the lesson and reciprocated…. he was murdered. He was killed in spite of all the love he showed. In his last breath he begged his father to forgive all those that hurt him. He was a true loving person. He loathed religion and yet his followers created a religion(s) in his name cursing and judging others. Putting fear in the hearts and minds of families and children. Am I upset? No but I am aware that love is the unconditional force that connects all of us through all weather and storm. I struggle with generalizing my love, applying it to everyone and everything. It takes courage to accept and hold dear the human condition. We are all different and are exposed to different environments which dictate our opinions and life’s passions. We all have the opportunity to create anything we want regardless of our experience and challenges. Yet sometimes we choose to justify our fear and failures with our challenges and fears.

We do not have a purpose in our minds because we are so afraid to follow our calling and passion. It is funny it took me just short of 50 years of my life to figure out my dreams and visions were a calling. I thought it was an unattainable thought. It all begins with thought and then a dream. And then the dream turns in to passion. It is all we think about and then we get tired of dreaming and hoping that we pull up our big person pants and take a chance. And then another…we fail over and over until we satisfy one day the burning desire to succeed. Success is measured in my mind by the completeness I feel inside for achieving something I love.

I love helping others. I love helping THAT someone that appreciates themselves and wants to improve. I love helping those people that are tired of looking in the mirror at the waste they created of a human being. And now they want to become more. The only thing standing in their way is their inability to be happy. That is where I and others like me come in. We teach one simple thing. Make a choice to be happy. That’s it. Make a conscious choice to BE happy. Not act happy but BE the essence of happiness. Inside out not outside in. We were given those gifts to overcome as a birthright by our creator. It is physically impossible for us to accept death without a purpose. There are heroes made from purpose and failures. Failures in attempts and purpose in what motivated them to succeed.

Look in the mirror. See a true hero. Be brave and accept Happiness. I tell people we all have a choice to be happy or the opposite. Right now I am pushing 50, overweight, cant breather right, hair is falling out, teeth are grinding and getting smaller, cant cant cant……is a part of my vocabulary more than any time in my life. On the flipside…I have an amazing job. I help some amazing people get through their day because they have to be there to make a living to feed and help support themselves and family. I get to watch everyone start their day sad and then they have to deal with me being silly all day. Hugging and kissing them until they either turn me in to HR or smile. If they smile and then turn me in it was worth it. It has happen. It had purpose to the madness. I also have the privilege of mentoring several individuals on the level of happiness they currently reside in if any at all.I Have been blessed to be called Papa(grandpa) by 6 amazing little boys. I have beautiful children that all make me proud to be their father. I have found someone to stand by me patiently accepting me for who I am one hundred percent non-judgmental and unconditionally loving me. Supporting me when my emotions take over and I become the Jeckyll to my Hyde. Life is funny with loss, you get it back. 

Mentoring happiness is an amazing feeling. I watch people come from crying everyday to learning how to laugh and be happy in any situation. So many emotions run through me when I see progress. All I want is for them to realize that the decision to be happy is their hands. The happiness they crave and hope for is not predicated on external vices and situations. Nor is it reliant on an individual or in an expectation of a circumstance. We have that control to develop our own perceptions as our OWN. It doesn’t take a scientist to figure it out, all it takes is someone to love you and guide you towards a warm hug and encouragement. We can all be that light for anyone. We do not need a license or PHD. All we need is Love. The kind of love that my grandmother uncle Beto and Jesus Christ taught. These wonderful figures in my life were always instrumental in getting me through rough challenges in my life. I am thankful to my family. I am thankful for the brave man on that cross using himself as a purpose to teach us Love. He loved us that much to be THE example. There have been recordings of other amazing prophets, teachers and saints all justified ion their own write as the figure in their life that empowers them. I am not going to sit here and judge what is right from wrong and ask you to change your belief system. That is up to you and your research. If you have not done research start moving.

I am here to give my opinion on how happiness is achieved. I know I was redundant in my articulation of ideas and philosophy…. But I am trying. Who isn’t? Someone HAS to do it. Someone has to give up a little of their time to plant the seeds of a happy philosophy in people’s hearts. I hope I have done that for you. I will be writing more.

I am ranting. If you are a follower of my writings from my previous blog then you’ll understand. I am not going to try and make it pretty. I am going to make it honest.

I love you.

At a certain time in our lives we start to question everything. That point in time is different for everyone. Some go through this period of enlightenment early on when they reach adulthood and figure it out and appreciate the rest of their lives. Some live the majority of their adult life working hard, stressed out, being responsible, putting everyone around them first and sacrificing their happiness for the well being of others not realizing that they can have all of it. Some spend their whole lives and realize everything was about their joy when they are in their twilight years. Then watching their grandchildren grow and loving them opens their eyes and they try desperately to teach their children not to make the same mistakes. Like I said these are just a few examples of how we find ourselves at different stages of our lives.

We all have the capacity to love, laugh and live on a daily basis. Enjoying our life regardless if your the only one in your world living that way. We can try and shove this information in our loved ones faces and teach them how to be happy. Show them how to love everyone around them. Explain to them that grudges and hate is useless. Lead by example to display our love for even our enemies. Sometimes the relationships we are around are toxic. The people we love are so much a part of us that we cannot abandon them. We love them. We would do anything for them. How do we keep our composure? I deal with this question everyday. I want to be happy everyday. I want to feel joy 24 hours a day. I want to be able to talk to someone that wants the same thing and feels the way I do. Is that possible? Whether or not it is possible I am going to feel joy. I will block out the anxiety I feel from these people in my life that claim they are happy and feeling joy. I will move forward  past them and be happy inside. I will proclaim victory at the end of the day when I lay my head because In the end it my be my last time and I would not want to waste that day listening to the whining and bitching. We need to be stronger. We need to be happy.

Changes to our conscious is so important. We need to quit filling our subconscious(soul) shit from above so to speak. We need to fill our soul with thoughts of joy and hope. Expect to have a great and wonderful productive day exploring the possibilities for which we were created for. We are here to make amazing strides in humanity. We are here to love and love everyone. To challenge each other to heal each other with love and kindness. Forgiveness takes bravery. It takes courage to stand in front of someone who has caused you pain with a smile and feel no pain. I am not saying go look for that individual. What I am saying is face that memory head on and wipe the pain away. Do not let that memory continue to destroy your day or the tomorrows before they can be created. We are to create wondeful days for ourselves. We are to make ourselves joyful.

Where is the rulebook that tells us we are to be victims of our ownselves making hell for one another? Where does it say we are suppose to hate. As children we are innocent. We are love in its purest form. We should carry that throughout our lives. Acknowledge, learn, file it, move on! those of you edumacated people who have a smart answer that you learned in school kiss my ass. Analyze, judge what you want. Use that expensive education to tell me otherwise. But…I’ll tell you that the strength we need to overcome our problems that we create for ourselves is within us. Solving these hard matters of the heart and mind are answered if we just look inside. We all have the capacity for so much yet we sell ourselves short and pay someone or give up as the answer. Drugs is the pacifier or just to get by the day. Deal with it tomorrow I am to busy right now pill. I know so many hypocrites in my life. The first one is in the mirror. The next one is close by. The other one is even closer. Why do we lie to ourselves and our loved ones. Why do we tell our children one thing and do the opposite of what we taught?

In closing. Because my random thoughts are giving me a headache. Because What I really want to say is too blunt and naming names is bad for my KARMA. Yes. I said Karma. If it is a name to call that what goes around comes around. I got it out as to teach all of you to quit wasting time hating, hurting, selfdestructing, cutting, hiding, ignoring, abusing, victimizing, allowing, faking, crying, bashing, trashing, crashing…… tell your friend the pill, the pipe, the bottle and whoever else helps you forget that you want to remember and feel what it is that you will recognize what it is you are never going to let control your life again. Let it go my loved ones. Let it go. Let the joy reside. Let that joy be addictive. Allow that JOY to overcome and infiltrate every part of your life and quit making excuses as to why you wont. Let that loved one in your life know that they can be pittiful of they want but you will be happy and remind them everyday they have to look at you smiling that they are sad. Thats it.