Forgiveness is the Key to Happiness

Simply put Forgiveness is the intentional and voluntary process by which a victim undergoes a change in feelings and attitude regarding an offense, releases negative emotions such as vengefulness, with an increased ability to wish the offender well. What Forgiveness is not? Or different from?

  • Failing to see the action as wrong and in need of forgiveness.
  • Not holding the offender as responsible for the action.
  • Granted by a representative of society, such as a judge.
  • Removing awareness of the offense from consciousness.
  • Removing awareness of the offense from consciousness.

Forgiveness is given without an agenda, expectation or to partake in any future exchange.

  • In some instances the offender will acknowledge the victims forgiveness and offer the apology after. This would add to easing the transition of the victim from pain to peace of mind. It is not needed once the victim has made a choice to change the mindset or perception towards the situation.

Forgiveness is a mindset and in essence nothing else is needed. It is a choice to let the experience be a negative or not. It is a perception to allow the experience to bring forth pain or not. It is a choice to take on the experience as a life lesson and a reference point to reflect back on.

World Health, Medical, Behavioral Science research indicate that forgiveness promotes dramatic increased positive effects on the mind and body. People who release their resentment and negative feelings towards past events or experiences have increased benefits and less deterioration in cardio vascular and nervous systems. More positive results in a reduction of stress, physical manifestations of stress and increased vitality. People are less likely to be easily angered, hurt and be more optimistic through tough times.

Self-Forgiveness is another story. Environmentally we are conditioned to fear the accountability and to be responsible for our actions. Therefore we run from this “facing the music”. Keeping this guilt, resentment, regret and remorse towards our own actions is unhealthy. We are unhappy because we do not want to face the pain. We think that if we do not let it out and release it, out of embarrassment it is the lesser of the two evils. The embarrassment after acknowledgement is temporary. The pain and damaged caused by keeping this turmoil inside is life changing and permanent to the point of life threatening illnesses caused by the physical manifestation of stress.

  • Releasing this pain is healthy. As I pointed out that the acknowledgment causes temporary pain after which you can work on restoring and renewal. It is like physical exercise, you have to work hard to see improvement. You have to sacrifice temporarily in order to see results. In exercise if you keep eating unhealthy and yet still know you are in denial… you will further deteriorate and can cause life threatening illnesses and up to death because of. The short term is to sacrifice, get in shape and then the long term is positive rewards of quality and longevity of life.

We need to love and forgive others. Let go of the pain and discomfort inside of us, It is so damaging. Focus on the good in your life. And if you think there is no good? Take stock. Write a list of the good things and bad things and compare. If your perceptions guide you to write a longer list for the bad things then start working on creating more good situations in your life. Start surrounding yourself with more positive people and remove yourself from the negative environments. There is a way for everything in life. It is now bad do you want it? How bad do you want to be happy? How much longer are you going to be making excuses to be unhappy? I spent a lifetime of helping people become happier and solving their issues with their perceptions, all along my perceptions needed work. I needed to be happier myself. I was not taking my own advice continuing to be in toxic situations and environments that did not help me grow. It is my faith in God that allowed me and drove me to continue to help people. But it was my own misunderstanding that I could apply what I teach to my own life.

(If you are suffering from depression then read my articles on depression) Clinical Depression , Depression Denial Treatment , Depression Facts & Statistics , How to Deal with Depression

As I searched deeper in my mind to why I was not happy the source of my despair was that I was not forgiving myself. I did not see myself as a good person. Because of my inability to love myself I was hurting people in my intimate relationships. What really struck a nerve is when the people I helped succeed in their happiness were the ones that ended up being my teachers and mentors to a happier life. That was rewarding and sad at the same time. I humbled myself and took the counsel and improved. We are an ever evolving species.

We are capable of so much. We are always hungry to learn something new and we thrive on receiving and giving Love. The only way to learn in life is to accept who we are and love ourselves. Forgiveness is a big factor in this journey to happiness. You will learn that once you decide to be happy, forgiveness is a key component to the journey you will take towards sustainable happiness. That is the hard work.

As always. I Love You.