Sadness

People Do Not Want to be Happy

I am worried.

I do not let things get to me regularly. People do not want to be happy. I don’t get it. They say they want to be happy but their actions show me the opposite. I mentor quite a few people including family. I always ask the same question….”what can you control?” They always beat around the bush. After I explain to them that the only thing they can control is their mind and the way they think… They go off on a tangent blaming the world that what they think is predicated on their experiences and it is not their fault for negative thought. I give them literature and information on how this is a scientific fact that we condition our minds to believe a certain way. I show them proof in research that mindset can cause illness or healing in a very short time. They still do not get it. 

People Do Not Want to be Happy

I believe it is a fear mindset that keeps them from opening
their mind to other ways of thinking. We are conditioned in this society that
our problems are best solved with external vices. We have not been taught that
we have internal strengths that we have access to that give us the ability to
calm ourselves down and root out that is scaring us into depression. And then
we treat depression with medications and external vices. Holistic and
spirituality understanding as it relates to healing the body is becoming more
popular. Modern medicine is also trying to compete with these advances. They
are constantly introducing new chemical therapies that are supposed to be less
harmful to the body yet they preface this by listing all the side effects (contradicting).
Where does this leave us? The quick fix is still the pill and the internal
healing approach takes work and is less attractive. Steroids was attractive and
eating healthy foods and hard work was not…. Look where it got those people.

All of this talk of depression treatment and pills and such
has a solution and there is hope. We do have an answer to all of this wave of
distracting us from our true problem. There is nothing wrong with accepting the
fact that you are screwed up in the head and it is ok to feel like shit. There is
nothing wrong with crying on someone’s shoulder and going through the
depression and feeling sorry for yourself process. The catch is that we have to
accept it as temporary and not a part of us. We have to acknowledge that it is
there face it head on and say in the mirror that you are going to change it
with hard work. And then you get to work.

The number one reason everyone goes through this process whether
you agree or not is that you are not happy. Simple. Fear is in your mind. Your perception
of a bad experience lurks in your mind and causes fear. So you lash out against
the world and blame everyone and anyone in your way including the person and mainly
the person looking back in the mirror. Instead of loving that person in the mirror
and asking the question why? You agree and continue to deteriorate.

How do we stop this mindset? WORK! Reconditioning of the
perceptions. We have to start saying over and over we are ok. We have to adopt
a system and or process that allows us to appreciate who we are on a daily
basis. I know it is easier said than done. That is so very true. It is hard
work but well worth it. When you finally get to the end of the marathon the
journey will have been worthwhile. You will reap the benefits of the hard work.
A clean feeling of joy and happiness. Not aided or created from external vices
or medications. You will be clear in thought.

This is what I do. I help people get to this point. I work
hard to help people understand themselves. I challenge you to read through my
blog if this is the first time. Share this information with others and help someone
be happier. If you need help in giving someone encouragement in your life I
would be happy to help you. My contact info is here.

If you are interested in helping people like I have let me
know we can team up. If you need some assistance let me know! I do not mind
speaking with you and giving you some tips on the direction you need to be headed
in order to find your happiness.

As always I love you.

Life is so precious. Life is like what a painting is to an artist. So precious. So valuable. So much effort and passion goes into living that we will do anything to keep it. We are so delicate as humans. We are precious. We live for today and yet we do not appreciate. We diminish the importance of the present and expect tomorrow. We are selfish. I love my life today. I am in love with my breath that I take. I see the future up to the next moment. I see happiness and joy. I try with all my strength to defer the uncomfortable situations to tomorrow. Because if I wait until tomorrow to worry and I am not alive I spent today relishing in my joy without distractions. If I make it to tomorrow and have to face that discomfort… chances are that it will work itself out or, my joy will gain strength and I can deal better. I can have more strength to inspire and love the people around me to deal with it together. We are all connected and have to take into consideration everyone that lives those moments with us. We have to encourage and inspire. I have someone to encourage me every day. Thank you my Precious Lord. Thank you my precious Love.

I repeat a lot of the same mumbo jumbo in my blogs. I know that some do not want to read the truth and have their own thinking. I respect that. I respect it to the point of, it is my blog and if they do not want to return then it is what it is. If you return then you are with me in this wonderful journey and we are allies. We can feel positive thoughts together. We can encourage one another with good vibes. We can ask our Lord and Savior to send reminders of our joy and what we are made of. We can remember that wonderful man on the cross many years ago who was the ultimate positive person that walked this earth and tried to show us the secret to life. And we did not see what was obvious. He taught it so simply. His message was very basic. So many generations of so called teachers and smart religious people have distorted the basic message of LOVE. Why? I really do not care why anymore as I spent most of my life worrying about why. Then I read and read. And one day. BAM! I am happy. I feel joy. I love being alive. I can look in the mirror and love the handsome person looking at me. I can be free of my guilt. I can release all of the shame that others have dumped on me without regret of their own. I can be free of the shackles that my environment has brainwashed me with. I can truly be happy. I can fill myself up with this endless joy that I was born with. I want to shout this to everyone starting with you. I love you. Listen up. Lesson number one. Quit your whining.

Here are six ways you can control your very own happiness:

1. Let happiness be the first thing you emotionally choose when you wake up

People who are always happy, are happy for one main reason: they make it their daily goal. Happiness can be poorly understood- happiness is not an object that sits on your nightstand. It does not wait for you to wake up, to have you put it on after you brush your teeth and put on your watch. Happiness is not an object- it is a mental or emotional state of well-being defined by positive or pleasant emotions. Happiness needs you to come to it. It needs to be your goal, each and everyday. Choose it. Own it. At the end of the day, fall asleep knowing that you have accomplished at least one important thing at the day: you chose happiness out of all emotions and you will continue to choose happiness to be one of your life’s top goals.

2. Appreciate those small moments

Happiness doesn’t always stem from grand things. Yes, that overtime that had hit your bank account at midnight last night will be spent on past due bills and extra cash to spend on yourself – that always feels good. However, that moment of happiness is only temporary. When you wake up and see the notification on your phone that your direct deposit had made it to your bank account at 12:00 am, that feeling of happiness will leave you as fast as it came, because as we know, materialistic belongings tend to fade, wear out and our happiness wears and fades too. Cherish small moments. We often take for granted the two minutes here, or the six minutes there. But, if you pay close enough of attention, you will experience a longer linger of happiness when you take a hike and stop to see the rush of the water run down the waterfall. The smell of the water hitting the rocks, and the splashing of the water hitting your face- only happiness you will feel. Show gratitude for small moments. They are experiences that will never wear and tear on us.

3. Practice Self-Love

Loving yourself is so very important because it is remembering where our power is. First we take in the love of the Universe. Secondly, we give ourselves more of that love. When we begin to be filled with this abundance of love, we then pour it into the hearts of others. Self-Love takes practice and patience. It is hard to grasp the concept of loving yourself when there has been one too many times where the Universe has convinced us that we were not worthy of love. However, you are. Find love in yourself and you will soon begin to prove the Universe wrong- you are deserving of your own love. Once you have that, then you will be ready to love others, unconditionally. Remember, it starts with “me” so that we can one day build a strong “we”.

4. Find new interests that bring you happiness

The other day I sat at a bookstore, I ordered an espresso and I read a book. I was at peace with my inner-being. My mind was clear. I was not thinking about the laundry I needed to start, or the dishwasher I needed to empty. My mind was captivated by the peace that filled my inner-being. I sat in that bookstore for three hours- it was the best three hours spent. When I was driving home, I had thought to myself, “I was content, comfortable and happy.” And, I was. Before I went to bed, I wrote down another day in my planner to plan trip to the bookstore. It is my new interest. Find yours!

5. Practice mindfulness I was guilty lacking this specific practice myself. Just until a few months ago, I had realized the absolute importance of mindfulness. Being mindful is a state of active, open attention on the present. When you are mindful, you observe your thoughts and feelings from a far. This consists of no judging them good nor bad. This takes practice. Meditation is one technique that I highly recommend. It has helped me therapeutically- having past issues with understanding my emotions, how to handle them all at once, and over thinking where they were coming from and why I was feeling them- meditating has taught me that you do not have to sit close to them. But observe them. Be awake. Listen to them. Lean into them. Be mindful.
6. Always keep reaching

Success is not handed to us. On our eighteenth birthday, we do not open a gift of success. Success is driven by dedication, hard work, perseverance and the ability to always keep reaching. I believe that there comes a point in our lives where we tend to stop reaching for the endless possibilities. Maybe because we have been rejected before, not been “good enough” or “qualified enough” for the job we desperately wanted. Or maybe we have personal beliefs that if we reach for something that we think is out of our reach, we will be end up feeling not good enough or competent enough, like all of the other times you have been rejected or told so. If I can give you any advice: please, never let your letdowns, rejections or failures, determine your future successes. Keep reaching, always. Never put your hand down because someone once made you feel you were not qualified enough to have it out and raised in the first place. Success is in your control- so let it be.

I am very happy and appreciative about life. I have chosen to be happy. I make all the positive choices in my perceptive state of mind. I accept happiness as my norm. I fight to defy any and all circumstances as negative. I realize that all is for the good of our journey and all experiences are building blocks for something bigger than us. We are all connected and affect one another. We are love manifested in the flesh.

Why then do I feel like shit sometimes? Why do I feel tired emotionally? How can I rationalize feeling depressed and angry at myself? If I am so “happy” how can I express such joyful advice when I cannot look in the mirror and honestly feel like I am practicing what I am teaching?

We are a human species. Is that a default excuse for humanity? A constant barrage of environmental influences and pressures teach us from a nubile state. We are impressionable. We are naive. We also have the power within us to overcome. The only way we overcome and tap in to that power is to love and value ourselves. We need to be accountable for one another. Our answer is always love.  We need to clear the fog. If the fog is too thick we need to take careful steps forward. Slow down. Change your perceptions. Forgive yourself.

Love