Happiness is Overrated. That is what I have been told recently. I have been told that what I have just started is a waste of time. That it is corny and it is out of my character. I have been told that the YouTube videos I have recorded are creepy and no one will watch. All of that might be true in their perspective, but from my perspective I don’t give a flying you know what they think. I know that I am doing something that will connect with one or two people that are too shy to ask for help. They internalize life in a very different way that is not healthy and they are trapped.
I am not a professional and I never claimed to be. I never claimed to have the answers to your problems. All I have is my heart and soul to express through the mediums I choose. There are so many people to reach that need to be loved. I have taken it upon myself to make myself available to whoever NEEDS to listen. If all I am is a stepping stone to opening up their eyes to something much more helpful then I have done my work. If I can encourage some of you that read this to help others as well then I will be proud to have sacrificed my time and money for this cause.
Depression and sadness is so common among us. We are all hurting souls. We all need a voice in our ear of encouragement. If I am beating a dead horse to all of you about this having a choice to be happy then let it be so. Sometimes I doubt myself and my efforts, the little voices get in my head and they are lies. I start to believe that I am not good enough. I have struggled in the past with severe insecurity which caused me to look for validation through other ways in my life. Ways that were not so healthy for my soul and the people that I love.
We all suffer when a loved one is afflicted with a disease or depression. We all are connected to one another on so many levels. We have to be aware of who we hurt when we are selfish and only think of ourselves.If you are reading this and I have hurt you in some way….I know what I did, I am truly sorry for my selfishness. All I can tell you is I am getting better and working on me everyday. I am loving everyone that I am capable of loving, learning how to release all hurt, guilt and regret to move forward. In order to be there for other people we have to let go of the self deprecation. We have to cleanse our souls on a daily basis. We have to stop blaming others for our hurts and failures. We have to stop thinking of our challenges as failures and count on the lesson that we learned to be there for the next challenge in life.
I love to ramble when I write. I love to get it all out. I love to not plan my thoughts. I am learning. I am learning to transition this way of thinking to my videos. I am so in love with all of my friends, relatives, children, grandchildren that I owe them my life for always being there. I am still alive today because I have not given up on them. I have not made the decision to leave this hurting world. I will be here for all of you because I love you. It is easier to be miserable, give up, make excuses, run away, walk out, turn your back, cry in shame, than to stand firm in your convictions, accept yourself for who you are, make a bold brave step forward and love unconditionally. We all deserve that level of love and we all deserve to experience giving that love.
Where do we go from here? Forward. Love!