I do not know where to begin. Sometimes I feel that I cannot go in public with out running into an asshole. If I am thinking this way am I asking for it? Maybe but the fact is that they are walkways out there it is how we approach the situation.

I didn’t do so well recently. If I am to be a teacher of Happiness how do I go against what I teach and live? We are not perfect and at times we will be weak and fall prey to these instigators. There is always someone opposite of you and there will be a clash or a contradiction.

Handling this contradiction or opposite energy can be approached many ways. If you know you are in the opposite direction to the positive then you need to maintain the course. Do not look back. Be strong. Use your power. Love. Be calm and composed. Funny as I type this I have to admit I did the opposite. I instigated someone who disagrees with me and then I proceeded to look for an altercation. For Christ sake I am 51 behaving irrationally. I regressed to the mindset that we see reported on the new every night.

My ego was insulted and I had to stand my ground. This is a bullshit fear. A fear of being embarrassed? A fear of being humiliated or humbled? Would that have been so bad?

In my admission I see a light and a flickering hope. One I learned a lesson in forgiveness and humility and the gentleman learned bullying and intimidation is not appropriate. I say this without justification just an observation.

I want to take this time to talk to you. I hope you do not get offended. Honestly if you do get offended it must be a good thing because at least I know that I have hit on a truth that you are not ready to face.

You spend your day looking at the faults in others yet you do not want to address the faults in yourself. You focus your thoughts on what is bad about your life instead of having a mindset of gratitude and being thankful for all the good things that are in your life. You constantly bitch and moan for all the people that you want to place blame for your own unhappiness not taking any accountability for choosing to feel a certain way.

When are you going to realize that you have control over the perceptions that shape how you feel every day? It is easy to change your thinking. Or are you afraid of the work it takes to maintain that level of happiness? Is it that satisfying to be complaining all the time? Do you enjoy living in a state of unhappiness? When are you going to stop making excuses for your pathetic life. Stop walking around being a toxic influence on all the people that love and adore you. They are tired of watching yourself destruct.

At this point I really don’t give a shit if your upset because if your upset at least I am striking a nerve with you. If I am on your nerves do something about it. Look in the mirror and admit you are a piece of shit. Accept that fact that you have been suffering and allowed these negative emotions to permeate in your life for a long time. Decide to change your thoughts to that of love and joy and back it up with gratitude to be able to maintain. Do the work to train your mind to feel happy. Use your emotions of joy to flood your peebrain with love! Wake up! Today is the day. Do not be so arrogant to believe you have tomorrow. Tomorrow might be your funeral.

I Love You

I can only answer as it pertains to my life. I will never imply that my opinion or my experience can be applied to another.

There was a time when I could not look in the mirror because my self esteem was so low. I did not know it at the time but I was not happy. I could not figure out where this mindset came from. Nothing I did would take away that feeling. I blamed myself for this way of thinking. I was stumped because no matter what I tried I always had the same opinion of myself.

For one I did not know at the time that failure is a necessary path we need to follow in order to succeed. Secondly, I do not have the need to have something to justify loving myself. Happiness was just a decision and becoming someone else was in my control. I learned later in life that we learn everything as a child. We develop our preferences based on our environment. If you had a toxic environment as a youngster that experience and mindset is a part of your make up. You will gravitate towards that as an adult.

Once I found out how to love myself everything changed. I started with gratitude. Being thankful for what I have and who I was up to that point was powerful. Everyone has something to be thankful for. From there an individual can begin to change their mindset and opinion of themselves. I just decided one day to be happy and thankful. I practiced gratitude on a daily basis. I started to express my love for people around me that love me for me. I gave appreciation for people that accepted me for who I am. I naturally started to disassociate myself from the toxicity in my life.

I was never satisfied with myself because my expectations were that of what others though of me. I graded myself through other peoples perception of me. Or I assumed the expectations from another persons perceived opinion of me. This is a lie. It does not matter what another person thinks of who or what I am…. They do not share my mind body and spirit so their happiness is not in correlation to my own. I do not give a shit what they think. It drove me bananas worrying what others think of me.

This advice I can give, list all the good about yourself. List all the bad. When you look at the good be thankful. When you read the bad ask yourself why you wrote it. When you have the answer of why you wrote it ask yourself if it is another persons expectation or yours. If it is your expectation…. then change the perception and accept where you are at that moment, fail until you improve and calling it training for a marathon. In order to run a marathon you have to gradually build your mileage and endurance. I know I am making the process sound so simple. It is. The work is painful, but the work is needed to improve.

I hope this helps.

I post to share my heart and soul. My heart and soul does not want to mince its words or pretend to be something it isn’t. I am just a vessel that carries this special energy. I am getting to know my soul every day. I lived a lifetime of not listening to this stranger that dwelled inside me for 51 years. I know now that my soul craves attention. My attention. It wants to be recognized as the author of my life. I must listen now. The foregoing is expressions of my soul.

People suck! Not in the way that is bad. The societal thinking we live with is predicated by fear. Our environment is volatile and has always been on the brink of disaster. The human experience has gone through a history of change and will continue to evolve. We are just passing through to learn and teach from our experience. There are mysteries we cannot comprehend nor grasp the magnitude of importance as it plays in our life affecting and influencing others and our environment.

Bottom line we like to bitch moan and complain not looking up to see that other people are in a more challenging experience. We find fault in others when we are acting contrary to what we criticize. Hypocrisy is rampant in our lives. People like to point fingers and forget to see the three fingers pointing back at them.

All we must do is love each other and be understanding that each and every one of us has an experience that is unique. Hate, violence, ignorance, prejudice, abuse, etc. has always been there. We make it sound like it is something new and we are all going to hell. The difference now is our recording of these events and mindset thinking. The media we have is instant now. There are no filters. We are desensitized to the point that are children are losing their innocence. It is our job to protect the youth and yet we pawn the excuse as “that is the way it is”.

Love is the answer. Love? People cannot love unless they love themselves. We do not love ourselves. How do children learn how to love themselves when the things they see online are tricking them to believe that the material world is needed for them to be happy and to validate who they are as a person. They cannot be approved of unless they have enough likes in their social media account. These children are not protected from bullying and intimidation. These wonderful little souls watch the news with their parents and or watch the reality of how our society is damaged right now, they see this through the eyes of others on social media, television, games, their dysfunctional single mothers and fucked up fathers. (vice versa).

Our language is toxic along with our values. I won’t even go there then I will alienate half of you, and not in the way you are judging me.

I love people. I love humanity. I feel as if though race is an option I want to be a rainbow color. Brown arms, black face, with blond hair, green legs, yellow eyes, with a beautiful blue chest to represent my soul. And distribute the rest of the colors as needed. None of these colors I picked were for any reason because it doesn’t matter we are a human race. We are a granule of sand in a desert as compared to the earth in this universe.

When will we realize that we are special only to ourselves. We believe and are arrogant enough that we can play God to kill people because of our empirical ways of thinking. Every nation of power wants to impress upon the world its agenda. Why is there war in the first place. Why is there destruction or genocide? Why do leaders think they can be God, Judge and jury of the world and they know best? When will we stop being dishonest and admit we suck as people, from that point we can improve.